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August 26, 2007

"WHOSE LIFE IS IT ANYWAYS?!!"

Sheesh! i hate it most whn unwanted guests invite themselves at my place and my parents play "god"...sometimes wonder whom i got the "mean streak" frm?? :-/
here is an excerpt from one such conversation..
this happened whn one mrs "so and so"(name undisclosed for safety reasons)came over to pay a friendly visit wch lasted a whole 8 hours...sigh!

TING TONG!(thts the doorbell if u dint get it :-/.the only other bell wch can ring on seein aunty"so and so" is the EMERGENCY--RUN FOR SAFETY typa one...but this time i was trapped unawares since it was poor me who answered the rotten doorbell)

SHE: (almost fallin in my arms)helloooo dear....wht a wonderful surprise to find u at home today."

ME: (almost shocked at how she cud juss steal my openin line like tht!hmpf! wasent i supposed to be sayin "wht a pleasant surprise to see u" since YOU are the one who's come over??)
"uh.ohh...hello aunty.please come in" (still not over the shock yet.wonderin wch escape route wud be the fastest to get away from her without it seeming rude.)

SHE: (now in her all very excited,"i want to ask u so many questions" mood)
"darliing!uve lost soo much of weight...how dear?u dont seem to be eating is it?whrs my 'rolly polly cutopie' pri?? *makes a sad face*

ME: *grinnin frm ear to ear*
"err well aunty,its been more than a year and ppl tell me its a pleasant change ...heehee" (me trying to laugh nervously at somethin i dont consider the least bit funny..rolly polly cutopie my left foot...i was OBESE lady.dont try to be nice! hmpf!!)

SHE:
"well offcourse darling...u lookin wonderful!always told u wud be a lot more charming without the puppy fat" (whoaa!! talk about changing sides)

ME:"aunty can i get you somethin? actually moms not around...she'll be arriving shortly" (me hoping desperately tht she'll cut her visit short n drop in some othr time)

SHE:"oohhh no problem dear, i have so much to talk to u...hardly ever got u on phone too and thn u never did reply to those emails mohit sent u. your mom told me that internship was keeping u real busy"
(*thanks mom, hmpf! n i was wonderin how some ppl never picked up hints...now i know...u never really let them!*)
"i understand dear, thts wht a doc's life is--busy busy! mohit n pinky always admired this quality in you..soo dedicated!!"
(sheesh! they wouldent have said tht if i allowed thm to know me better aunty dear...most of my friends who still keep wonderin how i have time for everythin under the sun will agree.heehee)
"ohh and il'l have coffee" (dammit!i almost thot she'd forgotten tht bit.:-/)

ME:"ya sure aunty ...juss give me a minute!" (or mebe an hour...i could bake a cake for u...nethin to stay away frm tht chat session wch could turn dangerously intrusive soon)
But however hard u try, u cant pretend u r still making tht coffee for nethin more than 15 minutes.:( and there i was subjected to the trauma again!

SHE:
"ummm nicee..so hows the feeling?"

ME:"feeling, wht feelin?"...(almost thought she was reading my mind thr--"hows the feeling of having an uninvited unwanted pesky family friend come over,interfering in ur lazy schedule?".hmpf!!)

SHE: "ohh u naughty girl...hahaha...how does it feel to be out of college n soon to be on ur own now?"

ME: (still not gettin the joke but laughing nervously neverthless)"ohh it feels gr8 aunty...well err am not exactly out on my own yet".:-/

SHE:"WHATTTT????arnt u? arnt u workin nowadays??"

ME: *confused*..er..no! im not...someone told u i was???"

SHE:"ohh so plannin for PG rite??...whts ur field of interest dearie?"

(GAWD!! see see this is whr the conversation starts gettin nosy...n for all those ppl who think im exaggerating, juss wait n watch how!)
ME: "well actually aunty,er, umm, i dont know really...might juss take a brk for a while..not really come to a decision yet".

SHE:
(keeps the NICEE coffee cup down with a thud to add to the effects, raises an eyebrow and asks
"then are u gettin married???"

ME:WHAT IN HELL?? is every single person who is a bit undecisive n plannin to tk a break for a while supposed to get MARRIED?? cant they juss be..err plain LAZY mebe??
"not really aunty ...nothin like tht" (now fervently hopin for the doorbell to ring n mom to come home)

SHE: "so? is thr some problem sweety??u know u can tell me darling...u can trust me...are u seein someone? is thr ne tension? somethin botherin u??"
(SEE SEE!!! i told ya...n u thot i was exaggerating!)

ME:"err no aunty..i know..i wud tell u if thr was sumthin" (thts me fibbing big time with an innocent face :-/

SHE(completely ignoring wht i juss said)"I heard u blog...why??"

ME: "huh?? er..yes" ???why???
now this comes to me as a real shock because err maybe im juss not used to ppl questioning me on why i blog in an accusing kinda way..sigh!guess thrs a first time to everything

SHE:"yess dear, why?? happy ppl dont blog...its the sad ones" (heyy watch it lady! did u juss call me "SAD"?)
yess fellow bloggers,anyone with me?? i have devised a perfect masterplan already and it wont even look like murder..maybe we could even forge a suicide note sayin "i cant forgive myself for having such false assumptions about ppl who blog and i dont deserve to live anymore?" anyone game? huh huh??

ME:"no aunty, a blog is juss an outlet to vent out ur feelings,express ur opinion..ur take on things.and generally have open discussions with ppl on comman topics...n get to know their view point too!"

SHE: "exactly! n why would a happy person do that??
if its advice or opinions,you could ask ur friends u know..."

DUH!!!
ME: "yaa..but sometimes there are a lot of things on ur mind and speakin thm out might juss seem absurd..while on a blog, they dont.u can speak bout nethin u want...its ur domain..n u wouldent bother about ppl judging u" (sheesh! now why did i say tht?)

SHE: "like wht things??"

ME: (ignoring her question) n besides aunty, a blog is NOT a personal diary...i mean yes.thr r things u learn frm personal experience n tht makes up a major part of ur thot processes n probably it does reflect in what u write but u can also have a vivid imagination, conjure up stories, write poems ,preserve favourites.! see, so its multifaceted!
me feeling like a scientist tryin to explain the 'theory of bloggin' to her

SHE: "n what do u do?"

ME:"me?? i BLOG...heehee" (grinning shamelessly n trying to be evasive)
SHE: (not gettin it or choosing not to mebe)"so..whats the name of ur blog?"

ME: "er!!..nostalgic moments"

SHE: "THERE!! i knew it!.the name says it all...
why are u soo sad sweetie?"

ME: (now a bit irritated) "huh?? lol!! aunty ...now u r hell bent on makin me feel i am is it? i told u im not..really" (still grinnin at the lady whoi am convinced is definitely trying my tolerance threshold...i even start getting visions of the gods rewarding me in appreciation of the divine patience im showing towards irritating humans today)

SHE: interrupting my thoughts"thn why do u write a blog called "NOSTALGIC MOMENTS"? only ppl who are sad do those kinda things"

DUH!!!is it???
WHAT IN HELL??? AGAIN???I MEAN SERIOUSLY !!Some ppl will say anything to prove a point!
I cant believe this lady supposedly thinks she has to have a say regarding every single thing in my life!!even my blog handle? whyyyy???? sob!!

(its a good thing i dint give her my blog url thn...she mite have to say a coupla depressing things bout it too...how she thinks it shudent be "lifeofpri" but maybe "thedailyroutineofadementedpsycho"sheesh ...heyy now wait a minute!now whr did i get tht frm?? well err...its not a bad one eh? maybe another blog someday...heehee)

ME:"and wht do ppl who r happy do thn?" *grinnin in a hopeless attempt to hide my irritation*

SHE:"they visit ppl,have fun,make new friends ,live their lives and enjoy every second of it"

ME: "ohh tht?? i do all tht aunty, be rest assured im livin my life n enjoyin it too.

SHE: "really?? but...

ARGHHHH!!! QUICKKK!!SOMEONE CALL 100...THRS GOIN TO BE A MURDER HERE (sigh! i know i know...cant help it.im a legal woman...)

TING TONG!!!
YIPEEEEEE!!! MOMS HOME!!
(this is the first time today ive been soo overjoyed by the chime of tht miserable doorbell)
As i excuse myself and rush to answer the door, i hear aunty mumbling somethin to herself...guess the remnants of tht unfinished conversation bottled in tht small lil head of hers r still struggling to get out n are utterly dissapointed at the thought of seein an almost half depressed victim go off like tht---unfinished!
Before it can get any worse, i leave her with my mom and slip away with a parting line wch not only took the cake but the baker and the bakery too ...heehee


ME: "excuse me aunty.i think i'll leave ull two together ...im sure ull will be having lots to catch up on and i gotta err.. go... BLOG!! :p"

Triumphing over my victory,i scurried away feelin very happy i dint have to go further with other topics like bf's, marriage,ekta kapoor soaps,the price of vegetables in the market,how i should start living my life (on her terms tht is...hmpf),why i WRITE, WHY I TALK,why i EAT, why i BREATHE.phew!..ok ok :p thts goin a bit too far...but whn it comes to such "il'l never know whn il'l be meeting u next and i juss mite want to write a book on u in the meanwhile" family friends, one can never say! :-/

She only got to see me again at dinner time whr thanks to my mom, dad and di , thr were always salad bowls to be passed, double servings to be distracted with (if the situation got awkward) n phonecalls from friends to help me get away avoiding her nosy curiosities...

sigh!!thank god for small mercies!

juss 3 words for all such darling mrs "so and so's"
LET ME BE!!!


music playin on my mind:

14 comments:

Ashish Gupta said...

pardon me for being anti-parent but this line got registered very deeply today while reading something... and sharing it here without any reason whatsoever. It goes like, "This is part of the essence of motherhood, watching your kid grow into her own person and not being able to do anything about it. Otherwise children would be nothing more than pets."

Keshi said...

**the name says it all...
why are u soo sad sweetie?"


why does she associate that with SADNESS? Cos there r alot of sad ppl out there who r not bloggers.

Keshi.

wacko said...

only sad people blog** WTF! am not sad..am just deranged..I blog because I have friends who wouldnt listen to what I think and say..If she still doesnt agree to it, give her my url address and she woudnt dare askin anyone again...

such aunt's are so bantering continuously...i am so happy i spent 6 years after 10th away from my home away from such aunties...

and you sure after so much of curiosity to know bout you, your aunt wouldnt visit your blog now and read all this you've just written...maybe google nostalgic moments and then land up here...

juss kidding..
cheers

Tejas said...

Hahaha...the most hilarious post eva! Moral of the story: Don't attend doorbells :P

Blog Boy said...

hehehe....
nice one...
Unwanted guests are like that only.
sadness referring to whom?
TC!!!

Pri said...

@ ashish
hmm ...something to ponder! i think this ought to be framed and gifted to all parents...lol!!
unfortunately hardly any must be having the time to read blogs.;p

@ keshi
EGGJACTLY!! but sigh! some ppl juss dont get it keshi, no matter how hard u try...:-/

@ wacko
knowin her, she wouldent be half interested...all of her time n interest goes in gossiping, n yess definitely tryin to prove her point!! :p.

@ tejas
yeah..but sometimes u got no choice :( and since im home these days im the official "door bell answerer","phonecall answerer" and so on...
sigh! i better start working soon...:p

@ blogboy
u said it!!
i read somewhr "unwanted guests are like fish...the more they stay , the more they stink" .heehee...dunno why this was the first quote wch comes to mind whn i think of her :p

Pri said...

@ ashish
hmm ...something to ponder! i think this ought to be framed and gifted to all parents...lol!!
unfortunately hardly any must be having the time to read blogs.;p

@ keshi
EGGJACTLY!! but sigh! some ppl juss dont get it keshi, no matter how hard u try...:-/

@ wacko
knowin her, she wouldent be half interested...all of her time n interest goes in gossiping, n yess definitely tryin to prove her point!! :p.

@ tejas
yeah..but sometimes u got no choice :( and since im home these days im the official "door bell answerer","phonecall answerer" and so on...
sigh! i better start working soon...:p

@ blogboy
u said it!!
i read somewhr "unwanted guests are like fish...the more they stay , the more they stink" .heehee...dunno why this was the first quote wch comes to mind whn i think of her :p

Sourish Karmakar said...

Excellent...da way of expression of ur agonies wid reality lurking from behind..was awesome..
More awesome was ur aunt..now i wud hav to really lookback into my life..m i sad??:D

take care

Keshi said...

aha...so just ignore her Pri.

Keshi.

Pri said...

@ sourish karmarkar
whoaa!! agonies?? realities?? hmmm u sure u not tht aunty i was speakin bout, in disguise?? :o
i can see a pattern! :p
heehee juss kiddin...thanks for droppin by buddy!:)

@ keshi
n tht my friend is wht im goin to do...or rather already doing...heehee :p

Sam said...

"happy ppl dont blog...its the sad ones"
A left adna right adn an upper cut... and a full punch on the nose... adn may be subject to soem more miseries for uttering those blaspemous lines!!!!!!
btw, I'll tell u something.... really enjoyed reading teh transcript... :D
hmmm......... now i knw how to irritate you.. just watch out now girl!!
oh btw, the only thing sad abt u is "lazy blogger"!! hehe.... :P

Pri said...

@ sam
yeah yeah...have been working on tht if u noticed ;p...now my postings r more regular ...dunno how long the phase will last though .heehee
still waiting for u to update ur blog..the travelogue is pending too remember? :-/

KYRIE said...

Hey,
Just browsing. What a woman, tht aunt! I know too well about how irritating these nosy people can be. I had to deal with my own relatives, uninvited and totally on my case.
But I never told people I know tht I blog.
Hope u can devise a proper escape plan next time to avoid tht woman.

Pri said...

@ kyrie
well yaa ..had started off an anonymous too...and dint give my link to ppl i knew..but thn some ppl i knew eventually got there...and thn couldent keep tellin thm to stay away :)
Besides sometimes feel maybe it might juss help the ppl i know to know me a lil better...if they like me as i am,they can stay, if they dont, they r free to walk away...

*smiles*