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October 05, 2007

"blogger crush" ALERT!!

Andekhi_Anjaani_Mu...

Is it possible to miss someone or rather someone's thoughts soo much that u actually wait for that person to write his/her next post and tend to get a wee bit upset if it dosent turn up?to miss someone u dont even know nor have ever seen, when that person is not around?
well i am actually going through a kinda similar weird feeling right now yet again convincing myself that im paranormal ..but sure, that has got me wondering...am i thaat crazy?? :p
Sigh! and just when pri thought she was all ready to break loose from the shackles of emotional bonding,(was plannin my next trip to the himalayas--orange garb and all) someone makes her realise that she still is an emotional fool...
Well it so happens, that however naive and gullible ppl say that is, it still hurts me real bad when i have to lose a friend ...and sometimes it hurts from within...
The feelin of a close one going away from u or being angry at u manages not only to break ur heart but also makes life feel soo very futile...but thn lets be practical...afterall its life and nobody said it would be fair!
But thn again we as humans always have and always will expect it to be and when expectations are not met and life dosent seem fair, we will cry, scream at ourselves, break glasses and swear (for the more melodramatic kinds) or resort to all kinda self inflicted torture and turn into ghosts and haunt ppl who we love and cant get over (for the ram gopal verma movie fans who are recently lurving his new crap"darling".ewww...it was a horrendous experience--tht film..and worse still it had esha deol being naturally scary even whn she wasent playin ghost and isha kopikar who cant act real for nuts...the story line was crap, the acting crappier and after "aag" and"darling", RGV should be shot in the head.hmpf!)
Ok jokes apart,if u already thinking that ive finally lost my marbles to digress like that or that ive forgotten all about the so called "blogspot thingy" (though tht wudent be too much of a surprise considerin a person who has the capacity to forget her password ..sigh!),thn dont be dissapointed...il'l stop digressing here and am in a state of perfect mental balance...or err..atleast trying to be ..:p
Well thr was this person *name undisclosed*--for security reasons...security from he calling me mad if he happens to be reading this and also because i dont believe in boosting someone's ego unnecessarily...juss in case he has one of those'overinflating' kinds...and one of the most important reasons why im not disclosing his name is err , because i actually dont know it myself...juss know him by his blog handle :(
ok so this "mr blogger" has apparently managed to create some sorta magic...and all i know about him is that he is a "he"...sigh!
Now if u r imagining his blog to be one of those ultra fancy, lovely blogs with millions of readers gushing in, thn ur sadly mistaken...cos i happened to be the only one visiting him for a long long time (not soo long long actually..cos he apparently has entered the bloggin world juss around a coupla months back or so it seems...unless he is goin by some other handle somewhwre else...and thts keepin him busy....................................................................................................and me's feeling a lil insecure now :( .sigh!i told u im crazy.)
Well it so happened that "mr blogger" happened to stumble upon my blog accidently (im guessing)..and said some pretty interesting things..things wch were mentally stimulating...things wch made me sit a while and ponder on what was being said... and for the first time pri was at a loss for words...something in those one-liners left her thinking and reflecting ..there was nothin extraordinary but there was something---some chemistry wch those one-liners and not-so-one-liners had managed to evoke...
so off i went hopping to his blog...juss like a kid who's spotted a new candy store in town...on reaching there frankly speaking, i was a bit dissapointed...
it was as if the kid in the candy store suddenly discovered tht the candy store was not updated with the goodies she had expected and since it was new, the owner had hardly bothered to bring in stuff yet and there were juss a few candies (oops posts) there...i noticed tht the blog was new and i at once labelled "mr blogger" as juss another "new kid on the block"(err blog) who's enthusiasm would fade out with a post or two...let me mention here tht the posts there were nothing spectacular (nothin like the wonderful things u guys come up with)...infact they were mostly pretty plain one-liners again...but somehow i saw potential...the posts were very different from the kinda comments he posted wch implied tht the blogger was juss too plain lazy to lay out his thoughts in public and would only perhaps express his opinions when he feels he really needs to...hmmm! tht was interesting..lazy at the cost of seeming unopiniated but interesting.(ok ok ! maybe only i see it tht way...hmpf!)
so i went ahead and commented...dint expect any reply though.. cos had guessed the "new enthusiastic kid on the blog" philosophy wud hold true in this case too and this blog would wilt away...but to my utmost surprise, he BLOGGED almost immediately proving me wrong and frm thn on tht made me check his blog almost 3-4 times in a day...
He was happy to find a visitor to read his thoughts and extended a hand of friendship which i readily accepted...
This went on for around 15 days and i really enjoyed it..it was really nice commenting on his blog and getting replied to...now u guys might point out tht theres nothin gr8 in tht and thts juss blogger etiquettes...but remember me--the only person there *blush blush*...so wat-e-ver!! :o
And then all of a sudden a trip planned...me wasent around...got back...and mr blogger had vanished :(...he had not been blogging while i wasent around nor had he replied to the comments i had posted on his blog before leaving for the trip:(...
He is still not blogging...nor has he been visiting :(...poof! vanished from blogdom...without a trace..
worse still there is no means of contact...no email addie.no nothing...not tht i wud *blush blush*...tht would be embaressing and desperate and probably he would end up getting delusional and scare me away.:p BUT where in hell are good ol blogger etiquettes gone now??hmpf!!
atleast a msg.atleast a post dedicated to the readers of his blog.heehee.or atleast a parting note...ok ok--i guess im gettin dramatic now :(.but what really irked me was NO REPLIES to my comments...ohh how i juss HATTEE tht!! especially if u r someone who only me reads, and i know u dont have an enormous fan following and u know i would be coming to check if im being replied to cos i kinda tend to get possesive bout ur blog considerin im the only one frequenting it...hmpf!! (SHADDUP! and stop thinkin im being weird.:x)
So from tht blasphemous day onwards till date there has been no sign of mr blogger :( leaving me with hundreds of questions probably starting with "what is thy name?" ...heehee
sigh! thts life i guess...ppl come, some stay,some go away bidding goodbye with a glorious and happy farewell, while some leave silently without even a parting note leaving u wonderin as to what happened and why they have to leave in sucha hurry...

and then again there are those who leave but never really manage to leave:).
ok thats enough! here i remind myself not to go digressing again...
so coming back to "mr blogger", it was really strange actually...
no names exchanged, no formal or informal introductions , no long hours of yapping (in fact not even short minutes :p)...just some sorta chemistry i seemed to notice through a coupla comments exchanged.u know the "i juss skipped a funny heartbeat" feeling..thats it!lol!!
I know wht u guys must be thinking...tht pri is at her dramatic best unnecessarily hyping up things...others must be thinkin "what crap...she calls that a crush..she dosent even know his name??"...and there must be still a few who would snigger and tell me he could be a 70yrold balding guy with 3 wives...and that it dosent make sense...
well thts wht a crush is supposed to be like neways, isnt it? a passing phase while u learn to grow up and get more real...so. wat-e-ver!!
err.. well ok maybe tht was a bit of a hurried "crush" label..maybe its juss curiosity afterall.but thn i still frequent his blog and leave a comment or two...juss like the kid who inspite of knowing tht the candy store she liked has shut down and might never open again, visits it still in the hope that probably one day she might get to see the friendly face of the candyman again and catch a glimpse of her fav store :) perhaps cos she has gotten used to going there...or perhaps cos she has taken a fancy to tht place... or perhaps juss for the "nostalgia" bit :)
but the kid will get tired someday and someday she will give up...and so will i..and the day is most likely somewhere in the next fortnight.lol!!.infact im almost beginnin to feel tht i was right in tht "new kid on the blog" philosophy..perhaps "mr blogger" dint prove me wrong afterall.(i should really be nominated for the "i know im always right" award)..and considerin i have said so much already, dont think he has really left me speechless too ...lol!!!
Thought i would write on this experience cos found it rather amusing myself and this virtual world has never ceased to amaze me...
it keeps springing surprises at me from time to time till the point i guess whn il'l be no longer surprised, at it and at myself...
P.S: to all my friends who keep trying to get me away from the comp, ive not totally lost it...so stop making faces and stop giving me that "u-r-neglecting-REEEEAL-ppl-who-care-for-u" crap...Because il'l keep questioning u on ur definitions of "RREEAAALL" ..so dont say i dint warn u! :D
whtsay guys?? any similar experiences? had any so called "crushes" on someone u dont know a thing about?perhaps just a conversation,the wonderful thoughts of a fellow blogger, a photograph shared or any other marvel of the net world??

would love to hear ur experiences...go ahead...dont shy away..its life afterall .we all know its a crazy trip anyways :)

cheers!!

20 comments:

Ashu said...

Quite an interesting post. No doubt. I have come across a few bloggers too who start with bang, sustain it and then just fizz off. Comments do prop u up and good comments when in distress act like a tonic to the hurt self.

all in all a good post and a humorous one :)

Blog Boy said...

True..I happened to me also....
Some one commenting on my blog for sometime suddenly stopped and moved on....
All comments were very interesting and couraging enough for a novice (at tht time)Blogger like me....

Comments from the others are just making your self that some one s there who is reading your stuff and interested in your life.....

But the feel is great enough.... for the next post..:) :)...

Nice one!!!

KP said...

I have come across some blogs they were discontnued some of the content i read really funny and really great even some comments were, I really dont know what made them stop...may be work, life, family...etc

Pri said...

@ ashu
thanks dear...:)yeah i know,most new bloggers either get too bored or juss too busy to continue blogging.and comments definitely helps boost up spirits...makes u feel wanted...heard :)
btw was asking u about any "net escapades" u had if any...would love to hear them :D

@ blog boy
yeps...u r absolutely right on tht :)
cheers!!

@ kp
work, life, family...or juss maybe a lazzzyyy attitude :D...

Cosmic Joy said...

A wonderful post. I love the way you are able to describe your innermost feelings so easily and honestly. Wish I could be so open ..

I wish you luck in finding the true essence.

lalitha said...

Interesting... how this sort of thing happens a lot... people start blogging... then disappear.
oh well... lifes like that! :)
nice blog... don't go the way of "mr blogger" please!!!

annie said...

Haha am in total fits.Ok Ok how mean of me to say that but this was so cute gal. Am sure even if hez been readin ur posts & not commentin or updating his blog...he would now. Some time babe and keep hopin he'll get back. And hey ever wondered if you both fall for each others....imagine!!!!!! we bloggies attendin ur weddin (assumin u wud invite us...hah)...Too much of playin in dreamland now...come back come back.

starry nights said...

Just stopped by to say hello .you have a really neat blog and enjoyed reading this post.

Ashu said...

hey dint get by 'net escapades'. may be thats too dumb of me....lol

Pri said...

@ cosmic joy
u know wht cosmic, i believe everyone can do tht...u juss gotta lose ur inhibitions and write like u would speak to someone u really love :).believe me it does help put ur thoughts forth more clearly...
heyy btw why did u close down ur blog? i remember reading some of ur posts and frankly speaking IMHO u write really well and i was kinda sure u would be here in blogsville in the long haul ..gear up buddy and start blogging again :) would love reading u...

@ lalitha
thanks dear...i think ive come too far to go "mr blogger" way...blogging has almost become an addiction now...
hope i neverhave to let go :)

@ annie
sigh! sigh!...:D

@ starry nights
thanks for dropping by :).glad u liked it here

utopia said...

hahahah! that was so cute. love your honesty. hmmmmm i had a crush on one of my fellow bloggers too. but he was sitting across 7 seas and was way older. but he loved what i wrote cos it was fundamentally different from his content. i'd wait impatiently for him to comment on my posts :).i managed msging him via this thing called twitter and he'd msg me back saying how he always makes time to read what i wrote. then about a week back he gave me his real e mail id and i got to know his real name and vice versa.the other day we chatted on g talk. i was so excited when he said hi heheh!but thats that. i think real life would be a tad bit more interesting. think i outgrew love in this virtual reality world sometime back.but never the less you never know when it hits you.so cheers to you and hope your elusive reader comes back to blogger :). heheeh!

Compassion Unlimitted said...

Rolling moss !Web is full of them.Drifting in and drifting out some aimlessly some with ulterior purpose.Just as in Friendship,when the station reaches,we exchange all details addresses etc and never to see that paper again..sometimes never even remembering that event..sad but then its life we carry on isnt it !!

magic masala said...

oye.hazaar deewanon ko chodkar kisi aire gaire nattu khaire blogger pe crush? :-o
haila! yeh ladki bhi na...

Pri said...

@ ashu
ohh by "net escapades" i meant any of ur experiences in this virtual world wch sometimes feels very far from reality and sometimes makes it very very tough to differenciate :).
and thn there are times u wish it wasent so real ...lol..i guess im confusing u all the more ;P

@ utopia
thts interesting...ever wondered if reality would be as interesting or not?? im sure u must have :D
as far as the virtual world goes, i guess ur right...we all outgrow it at some point...:)

@ compassion unlimited
very true!...i couldent agree more :).


@ magic masala
haan haan... pata hain pata hain kiske kitne fans hain.. saara wakt toh phone pe chipke rehte ho...:p
hum toh bhai seedhe saadhe log hain...aur apni seedhi saadhi zindagi..pyaar mohabbat ke liye time kahan? ;).heehee

anuj said...

it jus left life a gal was babbling about .. hey .. this happnd ..thn that happnd .. nd thn this .. n being a guy ..i was like .. hmmm .. yeah .. hmm ..

lol ..quite a stry .. interesting.

well .. internet sure is 'witty'. Donno abt the blog thing .. bt ya it does happen a lot (A LOT) that u see/find someone whom ur interested in .. may b fr d heck of exploring more nd whn thy r gone .. u miss thm .. of no reason .. no practical reasons rather .. there r reasons of our own longing frsure ..

thnx fr d visit pri ..
cheers to you !!

It so happened that I used to visit a canadian gals blog .. I was the only one to comment despite the fact tht she nevr noticed it or neglected it ..wthevr .. nd thn few more joined in .. n thn was d time for me to realise that neglecting her avoidance was nt gud .. n more fr the laziness of my own .. I left doing that .. ;)

though out of nostalgia frsure .. i visit sometimes .. n she still writes like Hell .. nt fantabulous or somthin .. bt vry PURE .. hehe ..

expectation r bad .. I tell u ..

Cosmic Joy said...

You are too kind with your comments .. but thanks for the advice on being more open .. i will remember it.

Anyways, I have'nt stopped my ramblings on blogsphere .. yet! Not sure why you said/thought that.

vIcKy said...

Pri! Lovely Read! Take me back in time. Hear my story...

"It started with comments. A reply to her comment...A reply to my reply. And a reply to that. It went on in my blog and hers'. It moved to emails...from one liners to a paragraph, and a two and long massive ones that actually was full of ramblings. The one waiting for the other's email so badly that we sent 5 mails a day to each other.

But life isnt all that easy. Is it?? I started opening up bit by bit, comforted by the fact that she is someone who can probably cause no harm at all. And so did she. To put this to a stand still, we had a huuuge clash. She was rude, i was friggin rude! :P And we stopped talking for months. She then sent me a one liner, and it all started again.

This time, it wasnt just emails, but chats in messenger. Slowly slowly, we shared pictures and each other's background. And then, it still grew, "Phone Calls"!! those that lasted for a few minutes initially to night long conversations. Sometimes, all day long forgetting a life that we had to lead.

That was it...I got a very very nice friend. A friend whom I know that I can trust upon. We became/are soo close to each other. one and half years, yet to meet and yet, something is keeping us bonded! Blogs be blessed.

Pri said...

@ anuj
interesting story there anuj...bery bery interesting! :D

well yaa i couldent agree more "expectations are definitely bad" but its also human to expect...so i guess its okay...as long as u make sure they dont leave u shattered...:)

@ cosmic joy
ohh...it so happened tht everytime i opened ur page i would only get ur profile and it wudent show ur blog link...tht kept me wonderin if u had deleted ur blog...its strange how tht happened actually :-/
but now since its surprisingly sorted out, il'l be only to happy to read all ive missed...
happy blogging! :)

@ vicky
heyy thts grrreeat!! its really cool to have such a beautiful friendship...
hope it stays forever and grows even more :)
cheers to tht!

Keshi said...

Pri I just came to check if anyone said they r in love with me? LOL!

Keshi.

Pri said...

@ keshi
heehee...who knows keshi?? :p
keep lookin up this space for future comments on those lines ;)