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October 29, 2007

situations,reactions,interpretations...shades of life!!

ME: "hiiiii...its been suchaaa long timee ....hows u?"
R: "im fine..as ever...how are u pri?" she asked as we hugged each other...

I was meeting up with R after almost 7 months now...except for the few ocassional phonecalls we were almost totally out of touch when she moved to another town after her marriage..i missed meeting up with her as she rarely visited her mom's place...and whenever we spoke on phone it was hardly for 5 minutes...It is a lil different after marriage they say...thts when u dont have as much time for friends and always have someone else on ur mind leaving ur best friends sulking with a "uve forgotten us now":-/...i used to never forget to pull R's leg with tht sulk everytime we called...:D

ME: "im good too...u dont know how happy i am to see u...uve put on soo much weight moti!"
and the conversation continues as we place our order...R tells me about her daily gym routine these days...and how its keeping her soo busy...we talk about job prospects, silly rumours, the latest sales in town and wch stores give the most discounts...having not met up with her for almost 6-7 months now, we have a lot to catch up on...but the smile on her face tells me everythings goin perfect...untill...
her cell starts singing the famous but boring nokia ringtone from inside her handpurse...me is fiddling with my cold coffee as she answers the call which lasts for about 10 minutes...she appears a bit tense
R: "heyy pri..i gotta rush off..its urgent..."
ME: "huh?? well we juss got here...atleast lets finish off with this coffee...whats the hurry?"
R: "its my lawyer pri...i have to go"
ME: "lawyer?? everythin okay?"
R: "been meaning to tell u...actually things havent been good...tarun dint turn out to be the guy i thought he was...ive been through a very bad marriage pri" and she breaks down as i look at her wide eyed...tarun was the guy R was in love with for the past 5 years ...i even remember the time she had introduced us to him before her marriage early this year...and the chap had managed to impress all--- her family and friends and convince us tht he would always keep R happy ...i couldent believe my ears when she told me tht this same guy tarun had turned into a jobless wifebashing bastard who had now moved in with another woman,leaving R with no choice but to leave him
ME: "R, why dint u tell me before?? all this while we were speaking on useless stuff...and ...and i asked u how u were doing ..to wch.......... " me blurted out accusingly,feeling a lil guilty for selfishly filling her up with details of unnecessary stuff when there was obviously so much she wanted to talk about.
There was a long pause making me feel further guilty about all those times i had pulled her leg expecting everything between her and tarun to be going juss great...we were both silent for a while...after which R decided to break the ice
R:"dont we all say tht pri? dont we" she smiled
I knew she was right...how many of us actually go about telling people no matter how close, whats really happening even when nothings going right...everything is always fine...thts how it should be.cos thts the expected reply to a "hows u?" isnt it??...i smiled back realising what she said was absolutely true...
ME:"you did the right thing R" i couldent say anything more
We paid the guy at the counte and hurried off...on the way back,she told me everything...and it only convinced me all the more that she had taken the right decision and while awing at her tolerance threshhold, i wanted to tell her that it would have been a lot wiser to walk off a long time back...but i know how these things go...matters of the heart take over leaving u numb n hoping for miracles...so i decided on saying nothing...and sometimes all u need is someone to listen...and probably thts what R needed right now...

On reaching home, i was thinking about R...how i dint have the slightest clue of what was goin on behind those smiling eyes till that phonecall...

I couldent help but curse the wifebashing freak she had fallen for...a fine example of how "mr right" could become "mr dangerously wrong"...and jus then i was snapped out of my trance by my cell screeching...(i wouldent say ringing thanks to the really weird ring tone selected by one of my close friends...hmpf!)
It was sims on the other line...
ME: "heyy sims...whassup?? hows u?"
SIMS: "not good pri...veryyy BAD!! nothing is goin right...absolutely NOTHING"
ME: "huh?? what happ? anything wrong?" still quite upset over the prev conversation at the coffee shop
SIMS: "everything!"
ME: "want to speak about it??i dunno if i can help..but would try..."
SIMS: "yaa thts the reason i called...im feeling soo upset pri...and i really needed to speak to u to feel better..." by now she was almost in tears or so she sounded
ME: "sure sims,u can count on me...im all ears...shoot! me a lil worried but anyways trying to sound cheerful lest i upset her all the more...
SIMS: not ur ears pri..i dont want tht...all i want is ...all i want is...your PINK LIPSTICK..."
ME: "whaattttt?????!!!"
SIMS: "yaa..." she continued to wail..."ive got a date in an hours time and i cant find ittt...i cant understand why this happens to me all the time...my luck ditches me at the last minute...ive got ALL the other shades right infront of me...but tht blasted PINK shade...i cant find it...n now i have nothin to go with the lovely dress ive bought especially for this date she continued describing the outfit after wch she got back to cribbing ..sigh!...im doomed pri..cursed ...thts what i am...god juss dosent want it to work out for me!" me about to faint now
ME: "heyy sims ...chill chill...u r being hysterical now!!
listen u can borrow mine anytime u want...no problem at all me rolling my eyes and counting 1 to 10"
SIMS: "thanksssssss pri..ur a lifesaver...muaaaahhh!!what would i do without friends like u?? am reaching ur place in 5 minutes...seeyaaaa"

and life seemed rosy to her once again!:-/

I sighed as i couldent help but compare the two sitations i had witnessed...the one in wch R was "fine as ever" or so she said knowing noone could do anything about it and this one in which sims life seemed to her a total disaster and all she needed was a pink lipstick to take care of it...or maybe again thats what it seemed like??...
I wished R's situation was as easy to sort out as the one sims was apparently goin though...5 minutes and everythin fine..how wonderful would that be..but then life isnt that easy and no matter what we wish for, "madame luck" keep throwing surprises at us...
Quickly disposing off the thought i searched my purse for the lipshade...
As i waited for sims,i penned down a few words in my diary---"28th october 2007: 8.15pm:A beautiful evening...a long awaited meetup...smiling faces...conversation over coffee...and life proves to me tht the world might be a little less happier and far more complex than what it shows it is..."

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25 comments:

Compassion Unlimitted said...

Life is full of paradoxes !When we think back,it just teases us or mocks at us saying..you couldnt handle me right..but then who handles who..life handling us or we handling life..too confusing right..just laugh it off doc!LOL
TC
CU

Cosmic Joy said...

There .. the real Pri is back .. the one who cares :)

Life is not static. You cannot view it at a point in time, and not expect any changes. For every break-up, a new relationship is formed. For every loss, you gain something new. For every dream, there is a reality. For every sorow there is a joy.

I wish your friend R strength as she goes thru this rough patch .. and hopefully she will not be frozen and wearing an overcoat :-)

An ILLuS|On said...

Yes you're right but i also do believe that sometimes we also have the habit of making things complex but yes you're right..it isn't that simple the way it seems to be!

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

interesting and thought provoking post.

We all have this tendency to "pretend" that everything is going just fine.
I wish we dont do that.

Keshi said...

I agree Pri...we all like to think it's all gonna be ok and that everything is going fine. But in reality it's a tad more complex than that. We just live in denial.

Good post.

Keshi.

Abhishek Khanna said...

well.. u knw the best lines i can remember.. these were on the opening page of my diary which i lost years ago :(

"zindagi itni aasan nahi hai jitna hum use samajhte hain, Zindagi itni mushkil bhi nahi hai jitna hum use mante hain"

phoenix said...

this is one engaging post!i just couldnt take my eyes off it once i started reading it!

Pri said...

@ compassion unlimited
i agree compassion :)
we can do nothing but laugh it off anyways...

@ cosmic joy
heyy cosmic...never claimed not to care...juss that ive become a lil more stronger and number to ppl and things hurting me :)
will definitely pass on the msg to "R" and with friends like me around, we'll try to make sure she never needs tht "overcoat" :)...
take care!

@ illusion
ir right...sometimes its us ourselves who are responsible for making things messier...guess tht tends to happen when we hit the "panic" button...
i agree,its always better to stay calm and perceive things as they are than draw our own interpretations and make them more complex...:)

@ raaji
we all do that raaji...some of us,sometimes...and others, almost all the time :)
i dunno if we r wrong or right in doing so though...because most often its only we who can help ourselves...others can only offer sympathy for our loss...

@ keshi
yes keshi ...we often try to convince ourselves and ppl around us tht everything will turn out fine and its all for the better...
probably thats one way of trying to come out of it...
hope is the stepping ladder to survival isnt it??:)

Pri said...

@ abhishek
nice lines abhi :)...
is zindagi ki ek ajeeb aadat yeh hain ki kambakt humesha humein galat saabit kar deti hain...
its often when we think life isnt thaat easy tht it confuses us with its simplicity and when we expect it to be all simple and sorted out, surprises us with its complexities...:)
strange is life!

@ phoenix
thanks dear :)...really appreciate that.
take care!

KYRIE said...

I am sorry to hear about ur friend.
Sometimes we tend not to let our friends in whn we are facing difficulties, but I am glad R told u at least now so tht u can be there for her.
I am angry to hear bout tht freak too (:

KP said...

Life is tough...I hope ur friend comes out of this tough time...its damn difficult to judge people...5 yrs is long time....and one can easily say they know people...but u just dont...

anuj said...

well its sad ..the way things turned out (fr R specially) .. nd d thing is tht whn we not being a part of all this mess are so worried nd in distress .. think of ppl who really go through this ..

it also reflects how time changes .. u knw .. like there wud have been times whn R would have been as excited as SHIMS .. nd now its all a shade of gray .. nd it hits u bck hard .. rite on the face ..

d gud thing, the only gud thing is that she's standing upright to face it ..damnit .. rite on the face with open eyes .. being brave is hard but thn it brings glory too ..

Lets hope n pray tht ur frnd R turns out to be fine .. nd takes life hands on (u will b playin n imp role frsure) nd tht ur frnd SHIMS doesn't date a jobless guy (LOL) ..

life is a mess pri. sadly :(

utopia said...

this happens to me too when i compare two different lives and how diametrically opposite lives we lead. some people might be going through the happiest times in their lives while the others would be facing daunting tasks and adversity in every step. when i am at my lowest someone might be touching a new high and vice versa. such is life heehee!

Thinking aloud said...

...at least R's taken the first step, (difficult tho it is) of getting her life back in order...wishing her strength...

Pri said...

@ kyrie
ur right kyrie...confiding in someone about such matters is very difficult...
its really wicked how some people mess up lives of those who genuinely love them...some by not reciprocating true feelings while some by initially doing so not living up to them...

@ kp
yes kp...but ur wrong...5 years is not a long time to know about everything about someone esp someone who dosent want to reveal it to u...
sometimes a lifetime isnt enuf...

@ anuj
it sure is anuj...but then it only goes messier if we take it as one ...because thats when we take the mess for granted and dont do anything about it...
i know R is a strong person but im afraid its very difficult to gauge the degree of someones strength by what it seems to be...
sometimes appearances can be pretty deceptive...
but then she will have to get herself together and move on because he was definitely not worth being stuck up for...and probably thts the reason the decision seemed easy (though im sure it was hell to go through)
guess thats life...

Pri said...

@ utopia
ur right utopia...its often tht way...probably we would be equally affected under the same situations but when u have ur own situation to handle, we rarely think about what others might be goin through...
Ive witnessed worse situations ...there was one where in there was a cute healthy baby born to a extremely happy mother while the lady on the other delivery table was lamenting the loss of her bay on the other...and as a doctor, i dint know how to react cos i had to break the news to both the fathers waiting outside the delivery room...
life is indeed ironical!

@ thinking aloud
thats exactly what i told her...the basic step out of hell is taken...
thanks for the wishes ...will pass them on to her...she receiving such warm wishes and good luck from people she dosent even know will surely get her smiling and convince her that she's made the right decision too :)
take care!!

c e e d y said...

It is a cool write up....(I know it is real) and can be made into a movie script.
A stoic personality facing the worst nightmares that life brings with a calm and calculated approach
versus a frentic personality facing even the smallest of challenges in life with a chaotic disposition.....
Calm and stoic is what I am :)
Where do you fit in doc - hope you are not frantic (bechare patients)

Blog Boy said...

" There are no classes in life for beginners: right away you are always asked to deal with what is most difficult."
Rainer Maria Rilke

The song is amazing....
Good one Pri

Sam said...

"Everybody says I'm fine". Isn't that true??
Some funny facts:
1. You are happy you tell everyone!!
2. You are upset coz of a trivial matter you shout, rave and rant.
3. You entire life is falling apart, your beliefs are getting shaken to the core.. you chose to keep quiet and weather teh storm all alone.
We all do so. Everyone is guilty of it. And when we finally talk about it... we break down and cry like a baby... I mean, that is our nature... Only why are we like that??
Another pearl for you, prolly heard it before:
"Nobody dies a virgin, Life screws us all!!"

btw, pri, I gotta say this.. there is more to than what meets the eye!!

imperfect said...

u know something?
sometimes its better to keep it inside than following the age old funda of sharing.
Some issues become "issues" only once they are shared.
nice blog!

JK said...

Nice blog,

R :(,I hope she comes out of it well! that was really sad man.

Simms - I guess she is my ex-gf :D

tacky song esnip one :|

Pri said...

@ ceedy
thanks dear...but sometimes life can make the best blockbusters...:)/juss tht unlike movies it dosent always have "lived happily ever after" endings...
as for me...heehee...assure u im not the "frantic one" esp when it comes to my patient...in personal life, i dont know...lol!!!...
like to believe im not ;)

@ blogboy
thanks blogboy...nice quote :)

@ sam
sad but true...all those are well proven...life does a fine job in proving them for us :)

@ imperfect
i disagree ...issues remain issues no matter shared or not...juss tht when they rnt shared they become " our issues" wch only we know about and have to deal with...we can try to run from them but we never get far...
Ya i agree tht sharing it with someone dosent help much in sorting them out cos in the end thts what only YOU are capable of...
not sharing ur problems with someone is itsself an issue...its a "trust issue" ..something im kinda accused (by friends and ppl close to me) of having and its one of the most dangerous kinds believe me...:)
Some issues are so huge that sometimes sharing them can make them worse and not sharing them can only make them worser...

@ jk
thanks jk... welcome to "nostalgic moments" :)
well about R, i know its a tough one of her but she'll have to come out of it and move on...cos he definitely isnt worth it...it was really bad initially but finding out tht he cheated on her helped...and tht made her much stronger and pushed her to make the decision wch was long pending...
as for sims,lol!!! il'l have to check out on tht...im not really aware of her boyfriends...they keep forgetting to compliment her and she keeps dumping them ;P

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matty said...

u never know wat Madame fate as u call got in store for u...

and few people jus can hide their miseries deep in their hearts and still manage to smile...
like ur first friend..
and few jus berak up even at the
smallest problems..

damn good post....
i love ur blog..

Pri said...

@ anonymous
hmm interesting i muss say...almost like "post a secret" but i guess a lot more convenient...:)

@ matty
yes matty...but i dont blame either...i still dont know wch helps better to move on :)