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December 25, 2007

Retrospective Ramblings...



Sometimes all it takes for life to change is a second's time and poof! u know nothing will ever be the same again...
and from that time on, u realise its a new life...everything changes...well almost everything...

It sometimes makes me wonder...i mean dont u think its funny (in a sad sorta way)??...something we give soo much time..put in so much attention, dedication, passion..something we never could even dream of ever letting go is suddenly snatched away from us...and we are proved wrong in the worst possible way there could ever be...
the trust we had shown towards life...the belief that it could and would turn beautiful no longer exists...
Eventually we begin to succumb to the surprises fate flings at us and accept defeat taking comfort or perhaps refuge in living each day at a time...
each surprise at a time...
each compromise at a time...
as survival or perhaps merely existence becomes the need of the hour!

But thinking about it,had things turned out exactly the way we had wanted them to, would we be strong enough to face the bigger unexpected jolts in life??
but then again, there would be no unexpected jolts in the utopian life we'd choose for ourselves wudent it?
So why is real life so different??
why does the outcome come as a total surprise at times?
why cant we get over some issues even if we want to and are aware that we are definitely trying hard enough??
and really speaking, how much is 'enough'?

Is it destiny? is it fate? luck?? or some mess we ourselves have turned our lives into???
Dunno---yet to find that one out!

and then again...what is destiny??
is it something written for us by some higher force before we come into this world...or is it in the lines drawn on our palms with some angel dust by a fairy who visited us the night we were born :) (like i was told by my granma whn i was a kid)..sigh!!
but frankly speaking im not any less confused now than i was then...ok yaa the 'angel dust' theory has been replaced by various other theories like 'karma' , 'circle of life' and sorts...but i would be fibbing if i said i was convinced by those either...
conclusion---i just dont know and perhaps im guilty of feeling its a waste of time thinking about it...probably because i know that i wouldent come up with any answers..atleast none which would convince me without opening a whole new discussion which wud ultimately end with a 'to each his own' closing line...

My mom has been recently trying to persuade me into reading the work of 'buddha'and urs truly has fled on every such ocassion with the excuse that she is waiting for an 'english edition' to hit the stalls...heehee...
but i guess it wont be before long that my mom is gonna make sure she gets one from somewhere and makes me read...

personally i have nothing against 'gautam buddha' but somewhere i have this fear in me...what if i read those books and figure out im living my life all wrong??
i mean i know it wouldent make any difference because u gotta do what u think is best and yada yada yada...but what if?
just what if i manage to get CONVINCED??
The last thing i need is another reason to wallow in self-pity for the rest of my life...

Speaking of self pity, (allow me to digree just a little)the last time i did that (err..in a real big way) was when i came across a self help book named 'why me??' and immediately picked it up because at that miserable point of life , i felt i could actually relate to it..sigh!!so spent a whole 170 bucks for a 30 pages book thinking it might just help...*rolls her eyes*
But unfortunately even after reading the whole book upto the last alphabet of the last word, me was wondering where the 'help' in 'self-help' came from.
Seriously, sometimes i really wonder if these self-help book (most not all)authors get some commision from the psychiatry department...some of them really manage to do wonders to ur mindset and almost always in a negative way...
and then there are those others which state purely obvious solutions in a more illustrated and profound way...i mean hell!! if those worked out, why would anyone buy a friggin book??

Coming back to the topic, me's thinking i could give mom's suggestion a try..and the small excerpts she keeps telling me from time to time (irrespective of whether im listening or not)seem to have quite an impressive impact on me..i mean the philosophy makes sense....
could always stop reading if i feel its going to land me up in sudden bouts of depression or the likes..and then whats my shrink getting paid for?? sigh!

but till then...care to drive me crazy with your interpretations??
are u guys as confused as i am on this?
go on!!vent out!debate...argue... discuss!
its been a long time i visited my shrink anyways ;p

19 comments:

anuj said...

see .. u again came up with a 'makes u think' post .. Its hard to understnd the essence of life basically .. is this struggle tht we all so hate or this fanatic drastic twists n turns .. is this all d real essence .. or is the essence to make the most out of all d mess tht u hav got ..

or is the real essence to undersntd the very essence of it .. LOL

well thts fr sure life was nevr meant to b utopian .. cause Utopia is also a man-thought concept .. nd if god were to abide by this .. he wud have had to praise thy men fr being such noble .. LOL .. but may b he din wantd to .. so may b its a pretty lil game fr him by placing people arnd here n there .. givin thm their share of lil luck nd watchin thm .. who wins? who makes it through the end ..

I think all this life talk can go .. on nd on .. reading buddha might help fr a change ..

but seriously these self help books .. lot of people praise thm like nething .. may b its a way of drivin motivation fr urself .. d whole point is .. if ur a self-help book ..y d hell do u ask me to give me .. let me hold of wht m holding on to .. n help me preserve of wht I have got .. only thn u wud have helped .. aint it ..

damn pri .. lets jus b in the holiday mood .. lol .. no thinkin of how nd what life is .. whtevr it is .. shit or whtevr .. lets jus go through it .. nd try to have some fun .. thn who cares wht comes of it .. cause aftr this holidy there wud b dyz n dyz whn we would keep thinkin of it .. so lets save our heads fr a while ;)

cheese ..
Have a great New Years :)

Envy said...

Hey !

You surprised me with your visist.....thanks for those nice words ..... overwhelmed

phoenix said...

you know what?the fact that you are asking questions about yourself,and trying to analyze, this has set the process of knoweledge going,it will slowly unfold to you,no1 not books or ppl can bring to you that you already dont know.

annie said...

Man is helpless before his destiny.And that is the saddest part.

maverick said...

@pri....nice post...well just to put some pointers, i ll talk from my perspective

1)Hope for the best..prepare for the worst..then u enjoy the surprises it isnt a defeat, then we are not merely there for existence, we then turn the worst into the best :)

2)why is real life so different...had it been the way u expected..wud it b fun??wud it b a challenge??wud it make u wanna get up the next day n smile..i bet it wudnt..so its good that its different...

3)what is destiny..n luck..i dont knw..but yes they do ve a part to play..but as it has happened for me...everything happens for the good..sometimes it comes from introspection...

4)books that inspire u or threaten they wud spell out ur doomed reality..arent they better than someone spelling it out to u??but then its more important to apply what u ve learned in a customized way..direct replication wont work always :)

5)take life as it comes..u ve seen a river??if u try to change its course alot..then it start to flood..leads to droughts etc..so let life n things take their own course..but be observant :)

cheers!! to much of fundae i gues

Sameera said...

Life is what you make it to be dear!Hope you get "enlightened" reading the works :)

Season's Greetings to you!

c e e d y said...

Have you heard of HBI's - this is exactly what you are going thru - Half Baked Information -
yes you read, you deliberate, and you feel you are understanding but really frankly speaking you are not - as you dont have enuf life experience from where to extract the correlation to understand deeper philosophies -
you are questioning the basic questions because we are all trained to look at them as question - but they really are answers and we have to train ourselves to look at it from that viewpoint - if you live or can manage to live life each day - (does not mean you stop planning) - and be thankful for it - confusion slowly becomes a fusion ....these are end of the year ramblings :)

Vandita said...

hey there pri
just came by to say thanks for visitin my space...and that im blogrollin u :)
abt the post...as far as changes in life go, that exactly what we call life...change!
seasons greetings :)

Sam said...

i'l think abt all this next yr..till den let me savor the essence of no thinking... :D
but den it really takes a moment to change ur life.. for or for bad is a different matter!!

Blog Boy said...

yes Pri, Life is and will drive you crazy..change is the only constant in life.
In that matter no book will help you but your self. try spending 1 hour alone thinking about your self.

even I am undergoing so many changes and in so many dimensions.


" Problem free life never makes a strong person.
Be strong enough to accept the challenges in life.
do not ask life, "Why me?". instead say, "Try me!"

Angry Agnostic said...

No gyaan of my own. Try reading 'Siddhartha' by Herman Hesse(no Siddhartha doesnt refer to Buddha here, but the book does have a discussion of Buddhist priniciples too).

Heres a cheapda online version:
http://www.online-literature.com/hesse/siddhartha/

J said...

You know.. life's too short to think about it's meaning et al. But on the same note.. I wonder too.

Perhaps some whiskey might help answer those questions :D

Abhishek Khanna said...

hmmm.. at the moment i am loving surprises..
but yea life give surprises at times which suck

AlOhOmOrA said...

hmmmm lifes such a sadistic game...it puts u into a kinda emotional mess...n u left wonderin wats rite wats wrong...y this y tat.....readin those self improvement books i feel givs u a peace for time bing...but al those solutins are not quite viable for every individual....i feel wat we do is try to match ourselves to those situations and tat kinda givs solution n temporary relif....but finally i feel u shud formulate somthing ur self to deal wid tat chaos...n tats
wat mks things simplified in ur mind.

Ashu said...

"But thinking about it,had things turned out exactly the way we had wanted them to, would we be strong enough to face the bigger unexpected jolts in life??"

A question worth million or even trillion dollars. You question the inner comfort zone very strongly in this post.

Whats the destiny. i feel a bit confused on this question, some times i feel its we who make our destiny, our choices, our decisions, our weird/good ways of acting now would carve the destiny ahead, but then few things happen in a way which we dont want/expect them to, then i feel someone up the order might have written the script for us and we the lesser souls have just to enact it......

wots the truth, i feel t depends on situations we r in....convinient choices you see..

about self help books, i know is they never help....they are totally out of the place and out of sorts....I hd heard huge about ALchemist, but frankly i dint find it impressive......

A very nice and sweet post that made every one think about those innane habits we have and about the levels of comfort zones!!!!

secret admirer said...

I believe in destiny lady :)
and i also believe that whatever happens happens for the best.:)
We may not see it immediately but one day we realise...also some things happen all of a sudden.but everything is happening according to a plan which is already made for us.and in time you will see it, understand it and smile :)

dhee said...

dont worry i wont allow u to go for those therapy sessions too often.
I will personally preach when i come down to india next time and a lot before that too ;)
i am jealous of that shrink

dhee said...

wish i could be there for new years :(

Anjuli said...

All u need is a lot of puchchiiiiis and a real warm hug!

U are fine, no need to worry...

whatever happens, happens for a reason...really!

Chair up! :-)