THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVE :)

THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVE :)
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December 31, 2008

A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE---2008!!

Was thinking about the whole of 2008 last night...and it did leave me with a weird feeling...
somehow 2008 wasent sucha major milestone in the life of pri...nothing great really happened..nothing splendid took me by surprise..plain and boring or so i thought last night and went off to sleep on that depressing note..
and today morning, i just decided to take a memory trip down my blog to have a quick peep into the year gone by and to my surprise, it wasent thaat uneventful afterall...
there was 31st december 07 when i was anxiously waiting for 08 hoping and praying that it'd turn better...i remember the exact frame of mind when i keyed in this post to celebrate new year eve and also my 100th post anniversary...sigh! (needless to say my love for blogging has only grown)
then there was the time when i wondered about 'dejavu' and all u people helped me figure it out in your own special way...some left enlightened and some enlightened me...it was only somewhere late in 2008 that i actually experienced the feeling and yess that day, i went straight back to read that post and our comment-debate :)
there have been introspective moemnts like this and this and not to forget the day i penned this...

ohh and do u guys remember the 'sing-a-song' day when u guys got me all smiling with your dedications.. *throws kisses in the air*
and feb 14th?? do u guys remember when i took all of u by surprise with my 'valentine day secret' heehee...how i enjoyed playing that prank!!
while a few people dint take the curtainraiser joke too well, most enjoyed laughing with me at themselves :D
ohh and how could i leave out the 'male-bashing' spurt that went around blogsville...yea there was some female-bashing too..but we dont care to remember! :-/
and then we decided to be forgiving *points to the halo above her head*

Im not a staunch feminist but i do have my days...thats when i get all strong for womans lib...'international womans day 08' did trigger off this spark and got me reminding everyone that we rule!

i got myself into a little trouble too when some people who shouldent have been reading my blog got about reading this but in a way i was glad that they actually got to know what i think of them and were ashamed of themselves...some misunderstandings and wrong impressions which to my embarassment, did clear up in the process--which in a way again, was an added bonus :)

there was this time when i considered writing nursery rhymes...but then i gave up that idea considering a few parents plea...sigh! im soo sacrificial sometimes! :-/
2008 have seen a lotta blue days too on a personal as well as on a professional and ethical level...
some days had both...and then there were days i couldent figure out what was actually bothering me but was sure that something was....

but asif to strike a balance there were some those 'all gyaan' days too like
when i wrote a letter to myself 15 years back and when i lectured everyone else actually hoping to rub it off on myself (like here and here)
2008 made me quite a blog addict...to the extent that i not only shared my identity but also some of my secrets with u people...
and i have to thank you for making me a stronger person...ur advice, comments, reactions and experiences helped me mature as an individual...
there were fun days too when we played 'story-time' (almost every month) and then there was THE antakshari
There were times when i felt all loved and cared for and it left me beaming with pride to know that we have managed to build up a long and everlasting friendship despite all the miles between us...


needless to say there were issues which saddened me and infuriated me..and then there were those which left me helpless and wondering--questioning the existence of god and goodness...
i learnt a few things about myself too...how much i can love...how much i can hurt and how much i can stand before breaking down completely or emerging a stronger person....and in a strange sorta ironical way, i thank 2008 for that!!
there were some issues which were dealt with..some issues which were ignored and some which were put to rest...all in all, 2008 was just another year which changed just another bit of me----but like i always say, for better or for worse only time will tell!!

but one things for sure, one advantage of maintaining a blog is that u can have it all coming back to you when u want to...and now that im feeling weird, nostalgic, sad, wistful, happy, strong, bored and proud all at the same time, i think il'l better stop and take a turn right here on the memory lane...

so heres waiting in anticipation of tomorrow---in the hope of a new dawn bringing along with it a whole new world of joys, happiness, rekindled faith, realistic dreams and new memories to treasure all life through...

wish u all a very happy new year 2009!! :)

December 28, 2008

dont expect life to change--learn to deal with it!!

what is with this world? more importantly, whats with us??
have u noticed everyone is worried about something or the other....something or the other seems to be bothering us...
fat people wanting to lose weight...thin ones wanting to gain some...and then there are those who actively halucinate and sulk!
dark skinned people wishing for a fairer skin tone...fair skinned people yearning to get a tan....
someone worried about losing a job...someone yearning for a promotion....and yet someone dreaming of throwing a resignation letter in his bosses face and slamming the door behind him....
someone waiting to fall in love while someone else waiting to fall out of it....
someone nursing a broken heart while someone too afraid to go that way....
someone who has all the friends in the world and yet finds himself alone....
someone who is afraid to lose the only person who loves him....

each of us have our own fears...our own insecurities....
do u know how much time we are wasting in just being the insecure wretches we are?
what would i give for a lil more of that selfconfidence??
what would i give to get a lil more of that 'i dont give a damn' attitude??
do u find urself sighing after reading the above two questions....then yess! this post is all about you mate! :)

im not going to offer any ultra quick solution like those teleshopping ads (i know that this might just be sounding like one till now)...seriously, how i wish there could be an easy fix-it solution.....
looking into the mirror and screaming im beautiful wont help raise your confidence...in fact it might just make u notice that big ugly pimple which is about to erupt on ur nose.
the ONLY way to help yourself is stop and think...is it worth it??
why are we soo worried? why are we soo insecure?
what is it that is making us panic?
and can we actually do something about it??

ok if u can, then dont sit there fretting...get your lazy ass off the chair and do what it takes to be done!
but if there is no apparent solution, like for example a dream vacation to hawaii or maybe an unrequited love or maybe a long nose or something (u get the drift dont u?), then dont feel sorry for urself....
a dream vacation to hawaii is not something ul'l die without....so live with the fact atleast till the time u can buy urself a ticket..but for friggin sake, dont SULK---it never got anyone a free pass to haryana leave alone hawaii!!
an unrequited love hurts but not as much as a trampled selfrespect does...so dont CRY over it---let go!
a long nose is something uve had since a very long time and uve got to live with it (unless ofcourse ur desperate enough to go for a nosejob)...so take it in your stride...dont stoop to rude comments and pig mouths...atleast uve got people talking!!

learn to fall in love with yourself first...only then will people learn to respect you for what you are.....
having said all this, i know there will be still be untrasensitive days when a newly discovered zit on my face might bother me...the split ends in my hair might freak me out....i am human afterall!
and those are the days, il'l remember to come back and read this post of mine..sigh!
thankyou one and all! *takes a bow and walks off*

P.S: today is apparently one of those 'lecture-yourself-and-others-too-whether-they-like-it-or-not' days wherein whatever happens, i dont give a damn!
I HEREBY DECLARE THAT I AM EXTREMELY PROUD OF MYSELF....AND I SWEAR I AM NOT SAYING THIS UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ANY INTOXICATION!! :-/

December 24, 2008

to all u wonderful people....



here's wishing you a joyous christmas and a very happy new year 09!!

December 23, 2008

to someone of a few words from someone of too many....

I did not want to ever lose out on you...
I promised i would see to it that we would never have differences again...
I hated to admit that i was being juvenile, impulsive, overanalytical but i knew i was in the wrong...
I thought u considered me as much a friend as i did you..that u cared even when u were angry...but i dint realise that u were distancing out...
I expected you to remember the good times more than the bad just like i did...but i was wrong...
but now its asif, nothing matters!! (and yet strangely it always will)

i can never undo the hurt ive caused...try as i might, can never bring the good times back...
nor can i ever restore the friendship we shared in the start which seems not so long ago, yet feels likes ages...
im aware i can never change u back into the person u were to me...
the cold air of indifference will always loom above us...and now nothing i say or u say will or can ever make a difference...i can never forget how that one conversation made me feel....because it just made me hate myself for the way i made u feel!

In the beginning, i guess i spoke too much and i complained that u spoke too less...
and then there was a point where u spoke out everything---all that irritation, that disgust, that hatred u held in for me...and i could do nothing but burst into tears...
from that day, ive always feared words when it comes to you....
somewhere in between, you and i lost out...merely on the basis of a few words exchanged and misinterpreted...

and i guess everytime i speak, there always happens to be some sorta conflict either at your end or mine...some misunderstanding which now wudent be cleared (because im too afraid to ask)...some clarification which now wont be given (because uve long lost patience)...some more silence...some more pent up hurt...and a crumbling friendship...
and no amount of trying can help ressurect a relationship which has its foundation on unsteady ground...

this time my words have proved to be my worst enemy and since they are all ive ever had, it leaves me with no choice....
....
.......
..........
.............
...................
......................
...........................

and i give up!!

December 22, 2008

the 'what' tag!!

i am tagged by "adi" yet again---i seriously dont know if he has any other purpose in life than to scamper all over blogworld for tags and come to me with them :D
but thanks buddy, what would i do without u? esp during these 'bloggers block' phases that i come up with :)
so here goes...

1. What could be the 1 wish you will ask if a genie comes in front of you?
A: would ask for 3 more wishes :D

2. What could be the 1 period you would want to go in a time machine?
A: every period has its pro's and con's..i think il'l stick to the present.

3. What will be the 1 question you will ask if you happen to meet the captain of a UFO?
A: "what will it cost me to settle on your planet??"

4. What will be the 1 thing you would do if you are to go invisible for 1 minute?
A: scare someone by vanishing into thin air :p
what else can u do in ONLY 1 minute?? :(

5. What will be the 1 thing you do if you have 1 crore rupees rite now?
A: change my blog url to "lifeofpri-crorepati.blogspot.com" ;)
(cmonn! dont tell me u wanted one of those 'miss india' contest winner answers)

6. Who will be the 1 person with whom you would love to live life long, apart from your Parents, Partner, Bro or Sis ?
A: noone anymore

7. What is that 1 song which you always hum, without even sensing that you are humming it?
A: keeps changing..current one is 'ma sunao mujhe woh kahani' from jagjitji's album--CRY...its beautiful and dunno why, cant stop humming it :)

8. What is that 1 mannerism in you which can be easily noticed by others?
A: they say--if im not found talking, im found eating! :-/

9. What will be the 1 thing which you would want to take with you to your grave?
A: my body in one piece--with no part missing.. (i know this is a gory answer..but with all the bomb blasts going on, u can never be too sure)

10. What is that 1 habit of yours, which are trying hard to get rid off?
A: my impatient attitude

11. Who is that 1 person who deserves a tight slap from you rite now?
A: a senior doctor who's name should not be taken...

12. What is that 1 food item you will not say NO, anytime when offered?
A: chocolate (anytype..anywhere..anytime)

13. Who will be that 1 dead famous personality, whom you would want to come back alive?
A: i wouldent want to deliberately bring up the ghosts of the past..let them rest in peace!

14. Who is that 1 teacher, you would not forget anytime in your life?
A: miss shilpa sawant--from high school (for all the right reasons)
dr sahakari--from med school (for all the wrong ones)
[actually there are many more in both categories, but lets leave them for another time]

15. Who is that 1 friend, whom you are missing so much rite now?
A: u miss only those people who are far away from u...i hold all my friends close to my heart :)

16. What is that 1 thing you would do if you know your death date?
A: let the people i love, know how much i love them (ive done that a little less too often)
and if i have a lil more time at hand, complete writing my book and submit it to a publication house...

17. What is that 1 thing which you are planning to dispose for a long time and hasn’t done it yet?
A: getting my visa papers sorted..

18. Who will be that 1 famous personality, with whom you would badly want to date?
A: im not open to dating just as yet..so the FAMOUS personalities will have to wait! ;)

19. Who is that 1 person with whom you are madly in crush rite now ?
A: well as of now, NOONE!!

I TAG
-->lena
-->divz
-->chriz
-->blogboy
-->urv

December 14, 2008

the masquerade ball....

She met him again at a masquerade party...after all these years, yet again!!
even before he revealed himself, she knew it was him....the way he looked into her eyes from behind the mask to the way he swirled her around---everything just confirmed the gut feeling....
they spent the whole evening together...dancing to the music....and it felt just like old times....
the music stopped....everyone around her had taken their masks off...but he hadent!
she hoped he would say something...anything...but he had been silent all evening!
she just felt his presence around her...love was in the air again....little did she know that so was deceit..................just like before!

she wondered how to ask him...tell him that it was him she was waiting for....she felt a part of her wanting to let it go on believing that he had come back because it was meant to be...but another part wanted him to unmask himself...
as she saw the familiar figure returning with her drink, she mustered all her courage and walked upto him....

"u can take off your mask now" she said "i know it is you...i always did"
"i think uve mistaken me for someone else...im sorry but we are nothing but two perfect strangers in this masquerade world" the reply was almost instant...and with that he took off the mask and there stood someone she had never seen before in her life...
indeed they were two perfect strangers...in the faint glow of the ballroom standing face to face, she stood asif frozen...
she was speechless..shocked....how she could she have allowed her heart to believe what it wanted to.....yeah probably thats what she had done!
he walked surprised asif hit by something he had never seen coming...."she's weird" he muttered coldly to the host, pointing at her....

far away at the other end of the ballroom, a shadow dissapeared into the darkness of the night....smiling to himself that he had fooled her again.......it was a narrow escape---the mask was still on!!
the party continued..everyone waited till the end---except for two people...one left laughing and the other crying, both ironically for the same reason.....

December 13, 2008

my 'blog-oscar' moment!!

ok this one goes for all the awards awarded to me by u kind bloggers in the past (remote as well as recent) which i had shamelessly accepted and happily flaunted without due acknowledgement to you (u know me guys--always taking u ppl for granted!)

BUT NOT ANYMORE!!

*clears her throat and opens up her oscar-winning-speech*

ahem! today on this auspicious lucky retrospective ocassion, i would like to thank each and every blogger and non blogger who reads 'nostalgic moments'...
i would also want to thank those who comment on here to express their opinion...
Not to forget all those who shower and pamper me with words of praise and also those who help maintain a reality check with their sharp razor edge criticism...u guys help to strike a balance--making sure i dont drown too low nor fly too high!
i am also grateful to those ppl who inspite of not having their own blog, (adi, ur included in these.so dont crib!) take out the time to check on me almost everyday...
i want to thank those readers as well who come and read 'nostalgic moments' and silently go away after seeing the visitor counter and tracker stats :)
Last but not the least, i would thank all of you who emailed me in my short period of absence and told me i was being missed and not to forget those too, who understood that i must be having my reasons and did not press on it...
i like the fact that someone covers up for my laziness and lethargy like that--makes me feel important!! *wistfully closes her speech feeling all angelic*

ohh and the basic crux of the post---MY MOST RECENT AWARDS which im waiting to flaunt..so here they are---go die in envy!(if u havent already).heehahaha!

this one is by sam, a prolific blogger himself, i've had the pleasure of recently knowing...
though i havent read too much of him, i am pretty much impressed with what i have..
keep rocking! :)



this one is by the ever famous mayank...
the magic of his crystal maze (mayz) is known and much admired by all who know him...
His work reflects his personality and its quite clear that this is one guy who is in touch with his emotions...
sometimes dark in despair and sometimes full of hope, this is one person who wins it both ways and from his huge fan following, its quite obvious that this streak of his only adds to his charm..
cheers to you!


this one is awarded to me by alok..
a very fine photographer and an equally good writer...he is one who knows how to capture moments with his lens---a quality i could kill for!! (u'd understand only after u see my photography skills)
someone who is always full of wisdom quotes and who keeps dropping them at u whenever he has the chance...
sometimes makes me feel he is always with some philosophy book in hand whenever he is talking...but naah i guess ppl like him 'make up' philosophy..
when he is not rattling off some words by great men, he is usually conjuring up his own but hell! it is sure tough to tell the difference :)


this one is by lena--blogworlds very own sweetheart..
Her 'tuesday love ramblings' managed to melt even an ultracynical heart like mine...i hope to read her work published someday and lena, dont u dare forget the autographed copy u owe me then! ;)
she reflects hope, beauty and innocence with her magical words and i hope the flame of faith she has for love never simmers down..
its people like her that deserve to love and be loved...

i know i gotta pass on these awards...but then, there have been soo many times ive visited blogs of friends and seen people getting awarded and left dissapointed because i dint spot my name out there (ok! now this is going to be a secret which will die with u..hmpf!)
well,considering there are more crazy ppl like me out here, i dont want to add the same 'blue' to someones mood by awarding some and leaving out some (the only reason being my failing memory..effects of ageing u see..sigh!)
SO i want you to know that each of u is special in a unique sorta way...and the very fact that u take the time to share your views with all of us means u care and that to me, matters...matters a lot! :)
i know this line is cliched, but when it comes to people u care and love, there is no winning and losing...
just like there is no 'moving away' or 'leaving behind'...

and on that note, i announce my comeback from the short hiatus i was on...
keep smiling!
sometimes thats all that matters...

UPDATED:
this one is by urv
it is interpreted as follows (taken from the man himself)----
"Blogs that receive this award are 'exceeding charming'. This blog invests and believes in the PROXIMITY-nearness in space, time and relationships. These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement! Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated."
all i can say is that though we havent got a chance to know each other all that much, im sure the future has one more friendship stored in for me :)
and that would be in itsself a prize...
thanks a lot buddy!

November 24, 2008

time to get your creative caps on---storytime-4!!

I dont think i need to explain much about this since almost everyone here is familiar with the monthly 'storytime' tradition on 'nostalgic moments'....
so we are back again...lets start weaving ;)

anyways here are the rules for those firsttimers who arnt yet familiar with it...
--->i will start with a line...a random sentence and u guys have to spin a yarn around it...got the picture??

--->each of u will have to contribute one line after another...and continue the flow of the story...

--->u can comment however as many number of times as u want but make sure that there shouldent be two 'consecutive' lines contributed by the same person...and also each comment should have just ONE line of the story...

--->anyone and everyone (this includes first-timers to 'nostalgic moments' and non-bloggers too)is allowed and requested to contribute...just make sure u go with the flow...and would appreciate if u leave ur name or ID behind so that we have atleast that to associate ur talent with ;)

--->the characters in our story can be given names as long as they dont keep changing :p..so make sure u read the comments before u before contributing ur own...new characters can be added...

--->u can make sure of any form of writing--direct, indirect or both...

--->u can write anything u want but please keep in mind not to write anything offensive as it is against the ethics of my blog...also make sure u dont include anything that wud hurt the sentiments of fellow bloggers :)

--->make sure u just put nothing but 'ur line' in the comment section...

--->please do not be hellbent on taking only ur idea forward by ignoring the other comments on the way...remember 'storytime' a joint effort and the point is to go with the flow...so just in case ur idea gets neglected along the way, do not take offence and strike back with a vengeance by deviating from the flow and sticking to ur point--thatll only make it senseless...and remember we are here to make sense from the nonsense :p


--->please try to wrap the story up by monday 7pm IST...if not urs truly will be compelled to put up a crappy ending of her imagination(u know how pathetic my stories are and often they dont even have happy endings..so dont say i dint warn u! heehee)

On 1st december at exactly 7pm IST, i will collect all the contributions, as they are and in the same particular order from the comment section and post them...and voila!! lo and behold! there will be, OUR VERY OWN PROUD STORY!!...heehee

so gear up and get ready to create the wackiest, funniest, strangest story of all times :D
it could turn out to have tragedy, drama, romance, humour...but the best part is its going to be UNPREDICTABLE! and can twist with every single line...somewhat like life eh??
so lets get started........


so presenting before u the line which starts it all ;) *drumrolls in the background*

"ohh so this is what the much talked about planet--earth looks like??" they whispered to each other as the spaceship landed...


cheers and keep it rocking! :D

November 22, 2008

"tuesdays with morrie"---a must read!!


I just finished reading 'tuesdays with morrie'
its an amazing book by mitch albom....and one cant help but devour it in one stretch....
its a pageturner and yet its something which will remain with u throughtout ur life....each word pulls at ur heartstrings in sucha way that u never want to let go...and fair enough if u follow what 'morrie' has to say, u will always be happy in life :)
the book speaks about the the rekindled relationship of mitch albom with his dying professor...the only person who can understand him perfectly...and just like he understands life....
its heartwrenching and ironical how this man has so little of life and yet understands it like noone can....his perspective leaves u in awe just like it left mitch....
'tuesdays with morrie' is one book i will always hold dear and i cant help wishing i had known atleast one person half as wise as him :)

here are a few lines from the book which left a deep impact on me----

"have i told u about the tension of opposites?"
the tension of opposites?
"life is a series of pulls back and forth...u want to do one thing but u are bound to do something else...something hurts you, yet u know it shouldent..u take certain things for granted, even when u know u should never take anything for granted.
A tension of opposites is like a pull on a rubber band and most of us live somewhere in the middle"
---------------------------

"sometimes in the mornings," he said "thats when i mourn..i feel aorund my body. i move my fingers and my hands what ever i can still move---and i mourn what ive lost..i mourn the slow incidious way in which im dying.but then i stop mourning"
just like that?
"i give myself a good cry if i need it.but then i concentrate all the good things still in my life.on the ppl who are coming to see me..on the stories im going to hear..on YOU-if its tuesday.because we are tuesday people.
"mitch i dont allow myself any more selfpity than that...a little each morning..a few tears..and thats all"
--------------------------------

"sometimes u cannot believe what u see..you have to believe what u feel..and if u ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that u can trust them to--even when u are in the dark...even when you are falling"
--------------------------------

"take any emotion--love for a woman or grief for a loved one or what im going through, fear and pain from a deadly disease. If you hold back on the emotion--if you dont allow yourself to go all the way through them---you can never get to being detached. you're too busy being afraid.you're afraid of the pain..afraid of the grief..afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.
but by throwing yourself into this emotion, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. you know what pain i..you know what love is..you know what grief is..and only then can u say "all right, i have experienced that emotion..i recognise that emotion.now i need to detach from that emotion for a moment"
---------------------------------

"we all know how to be a child..its all inside of us..for me, its just rmeembering how to enjoy it.
the truth is when our mothers held us, rocked us, stroked our heads---none of us ever got enough of that.
we all yearn in some way to return to those days when we were completely taken care of--unconditional love, unconditional attention.
most of us dint get enough"
---------------------------------

(morrie on the topic of love)
"in business people negotiate to win.they negotiate to get what they want.maybe you're too used to that.
love is different.love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation as you are about your own"
----------------------------------

(this is what morrie explains to mitch about the value of aging)(mitch): yes i said but if aging were so valuable , why do people always say "oh if i were young again"..u never hear ppl say "i wish i were 65"
He smiled "you know what that reflects?unsatisfied lives..unfulfilled lives..lives that havent found meaning..
because if uve found mreaning in your life, u dont want to go back.you want to go forward.you want to see more.do more.u you cant wait until sixty-five"
---------------------------------

(this is morrie's answer when questioned if he worried about being forgotten after he dies)
"i dont think i will be.ive got so many people who have been involved with me in close intimate ways.and love is how u stay alive even after you are gone"
---------------------------------

(morrie's views--on building a little subculture of your own)
"i dont mean u disregard every rule of your community.i dont go around naked for example, i dont run though red lights.The little things, i can obey.
But the big things--how we think,what we value--those you must choose yourself.you cant let anyone--or any society--determine those for you"
---------------------------------

(morrie's words---on forgiveness)
"its not just other people we need to forgive mitch" he whispered "we also need to forgive ourselves"
ourselves?
"yes.for all the things we dint do.all the things we should have done.u cant get stuck on the regrets of what shold have happened.that dosent help u when u get to where i am"
"i always wished i had done more with my work.i wished i had written more books.,i used to beat myself up over it.now i see that never did any good.make peace.u need to make peace with yourself and everyone around you"

----------------------------------

morrie brings a smile on your face inspte of all the pain he is living through and the best part about it is he dosent see the pain and at times even makes u envy him...everything he says makes soo much sense...
i finally understood what they mean when they say its your perspective that matters :)
i guess thats what 'tuesdays with morrie' was all about....
Mitch albom has put it across beautifully...and on reading the book i couldent help but fall in love with morrie :)
if u guys havent caught up on it yet, you are really missing out on something...its a read of a lifetime!

November 21, 2008

no beginning...no end...!!

why am i afraid?
what am i scared of?
do i know him or do i just think i do?
is he as indifferent...as arrogant as he comes across sometimes?
and if that is true, then why am i still drawn towards him amongst the crowd??
and then again, am i really important to him as well or is it that im feeling that way only because i probably want to?
is this just friendship or am i just being afraid and labelling it as that?

and then thinking about it, what is it that is holding me back?
fear, insecurity or a deep sense of comfort that things are good the way they are....??
since when have i been soo afraid of speaking out my thoughts?
since when have i feared the outcome soo much?
since when have i been soo confused about my feelings?
have i changed back again into that vulnerable wretch i promised myself never to change into?
am i treading into the 'crush' 'infatuation' or worse still...the 'love' zone??
or am i just reading too much into it thanks to the stupid bollywood flicks im wasting time over these days?

some questions are never answered....
some answers are lost along the way....
and some deliberately unattended to...

i might never know what it is...because some emotions are best ignored!! :)

P.S: you are requested to refrain from jumping to any definite conclusion atleast not until i reach one myself....lol!!

November 16, 2008

so what do u think of me??

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. Something I have and YOU want?
4. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it?
5. Describe me in one word.
6. What was your first impression of me?
7. Do you still think that way about me now?
8. What reminds you of me?
9. If you could give me anything what would it be?
10. How well do you know me?
11. How do you see me in the future?
12. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
13. Are you going to post this in your blog and see what I say about you?

ohh for those who are still trying to figure out what just hit them, this is the most popular tag being taken up in blogsville....
well i guess opinions do matter to us afterall eh?
so go ahead...blast on!
i wouldent call this a narcissist tag as put by mayz (courtesy whom i got to know about this one) because i dont really know what its going to do to my ego....so maybe il'l just leave it as a 'what do u think of me?' tag
honest answers expected from everyone who visits my blog :)

please do not take cover under the anonymous option i have enabled once again (on the request of those lazy souls who want to share their opinion on my posts but dont have the patience of registering an id to do so...hmpf!!)....hence would appreciate if u leave your name behind so that i can personally come over and shoot u in the head just in case u write something nasty *evil laugh*

tadas!

November 13, 2008

height of boredom---i tagged myself!!


I was just too bored..so i tagged myself with this questionaire 'tumblestone' had taken up a long long time back (during his good ol blogging days)....

1. complete this phrase: "if only i could..
understand life a little better...

2. did you get enough sleep last night?
lack of sleep is never a problem for a chronic insomniac like me...im too used to it...

3. what were you doing before you slept last night?
looking at the green lizard on the ceiling and wondering if it has discovered its purpose in life...

4. first thing you thought about this morning when you woke up?
about the green lizard and where it must have dissapeared...

5. do u ever wonder why the sky is blue?
no ive got too many other things to wonder about....

6.Did you ever try to skip meals?
too much of a foodie to try...

7. lights on or off?
well that depends.....

9. are you afraid of the dark?
no not really...if i cant see it (the object/creature of fear), it cant see me either and i take comfort in that :-/

10. favorite hangout/s?
i keep changing hangouts...its not the place which is important...its the company :)

11. what are your plans for tonight?
try to focus more on what the green lizard is doing in life and wonder if it ever plans to come down my rooms ceiling :-/

12.people you can't live without?
obviously the people i love most...

13. favorite song when you're sleepy?
any slow song with good lyrics that i can listen and drift away into the pleasant land of dreams...

14.whats new??
duh! the stylish haircut i just had today *batting eyelids*

15.are you a giver or a taker?
depends on who is at the other end and how much i care....

16. if you could choose another name,what would it be?
sorry...i love my name too much to change it....

17. is there any person in the world who knows everything about u?
hmm almost everything??--maybe!...EVERYTHING??--no!

18. last text message from?
someone on the other side of the globe....

19.what were u thinking right now?
about that text msg u made me think of :)

20.whats the one thing u hate most been done to you?
someone taking me for granted

21.are u in love with life or do u hate it?
hmm mixed feelings :-/
apparently it all depends on what its doing to me...

22. if you were dead and your soul was given another chance, what would you do first?
ask "WHY MEEE??!!" :(

23. if you could choose your eye color,what color would you like to have?
would yellow suit me or would i look icteric??
ok jokes apart, i could die for a hazel brown....the kinda eye colour my dad has :)

24. what are the things you always bring?
smiles, laughs, friendly banter if im in a good mood....
when im in one of my bad moods, then its usually 'the great depression' that i rub off everywhere i go :-/

25. do u believe in love?
yeah sure i do...but maybe its just not meant for me to believe in....

26. any question u would love to ask someone?
yeah...to all my blog-mates..."whatever happened to good ol passing tags around??
i hardly see any these days"

so heres to bring back the tag spirit,
i tag
---luckydivz
---mayz
---sid (i hope u take it up...would be a good comeback reason)
---rambler
---meera
---khushi (who apparently follows my blog but hardly ever comments :( )

and last but not the least anyone who is as bored as i am.......

cheers!!

November 12, 2008

got any answers???


that is how the age old saying goes....


but what would u think it is if that someone returns everytime only to go away again?

November 11, 2008

P.S: u can forget about the gift now ;)


heres wishing one of my bestest blogger buddies sidhant a very very happy birthday and a wonderful year ahead....
he dosent haunt blogsville as much anymore...he even pretends to be too busy at times doing i-dunno-what...but neverthless here's to a great aatma (just so that it dosent find another reason to 'bhatkofy')
i always complained that i found sidhant to be one of those cold unemotional beings....oh yeah, nothing has changed...i still see him as one! :D
but needless to say he is one person who can create magic with his words....when i dint know him all that well and when sidhant was 'sid' of the blogworld, i used to often imagine how this guy would be for real....each of his posts brought about a special emotion....created a certain magic wch lingered long enough for me to revel in it...
and then finally the curiosity got the better of me and we got to know each other better...

so even though we have not met yet, we do know that we share a special bond which come what may will remain with us forever--together or apart.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SID! :)

November 06, 2008

ahem!!

to all the single ladies out here----
what would u say if 'pappu' proposed to you??

to all the single ledas---
how would u feel if u were 'pappu'??

(P.S: those naive and innocent souls who arnt yet bollywood-stricken and are oblivious of 'pappu' , please turn on your speakers before answering the question.....)

November 05, 2008

'schizophrenia'---a truth scarier than fiction.....

gayatri felt all alone---once again...
she felt the four walls of her plush house closing in on her as she sat on the bedroom floor sobbing...
it was just that morning that she had woken up in the arms of her husband amit...as he played with her hair he had kissed her goodmorning and told her to stay in bed as he made breakfast...
gayatri felt she was the luckiest woman on earth to have been married to sucha loving man...
she hurridly took the breakfast tray from amit...being from a conservative background her mother had reminded her never to allow her husband in the kitchen...
"he is the breadwinner and ur supposed to take care of the house..dont try to exchange roles and ul always be happy' she remembered her mothers words at the time of her marriage...
It was only because of this that gayatri, who had persued her MA honours had suppressed her desire to work as an independent woman...
the duty of being a 'perfect housewife' had been ingrained in her ever since she could remember...
she remembered her dad bidding her goodbye on her wedding day...as expected he hardly had tears in his eyes...

in a way, gayatri was glad she was leaving...she had always felt unloved at her parents house...
and amit...he cared soo much......atleast thats what she thought till a whole 2 months of marriage...
untill that day...
gayatri was alone in the kitchen cooking when the doorbell rang...
"who's it?" she asked as she reminded herself to tell amit to get an eyehole fitted to the main door...it was dangerous where they lived...with the only neighbour moving out soon...
"OPEN THE DOOR" shouted amit...

relieved it was amit, gayatri smiled...he had forgotten to kiss her goodbye as he left for office today...
she blushed as she adjusted her hair and dusted off the dough from her hands...
but when she opeed the door, standing before her was a total stranger...there was a strange expression in his bloodshot eyes which scared gayatri...he pushed the door open and forced himself into the house...

"who are u romancing with, u bitch?" he screamed "what took u soo long to answer?"
she kept staring at him not knowing what to say...the person she saw was a total stranger...yet he looked and sounded just like..........'amit'?????
before gayatri could collect her senses, he dragged her by the hand into the bedroom, constantly abusing her on the way...
his eyes kept wandering in different corners of the house asif...he was searching...for something...for someone!!

"please stop this...ur hurting me" were the only words gayatri could utter in the shocked state of mind she was in...
her world was crashing down...bit by bit...
the one man who cared soo much about her---what had come over him???

" i KNOW ur trying to kill me...u want to run away dont u? i saw u smiling at anand the other day...
and i know u tell everyone im crazy...u think im mad dont u...u b***h"
he flung her on the bed...
"whats wrong with u?" trembled gayatri..."what are u saying? who is anand?"
his words were spinning in her mind...she couldent comprehend what he was saying...
the next thing she knew was he was groping her all over as he ripped her clothes open and raped her for the next 45 minutes...

paying a deaf ear to gayatris screams, he continued raping her mercilessly...
it was only when the neighbour got back, that he heard gayatri screaming and got help...
gayatri lay almost lifeless on the bed as 4 health personneles physically restrained amit who was still violently screaming abuses...her marriage had turned into that one big disaster she had never imagined it could turn into....




amit is an old case of paranoid schizophrenia and has been receiving treatment since the last 20 years...he keeps suffering from delusions and auditary hallucinations...
'anand' does not exist at all...he is just a permanent entity in amits mind...and is the basis for all the delusions of infidelity he suffers from...
gayatri was badly traumatised by this incident and it took her a very long time to recover..both physically as well as emotionally...

the mistake on his part (apart from the one that he kept it a secret from the girl he was marrying) is that he thought he was improving and stopped all medication since the last 2 months...
the mistake on her part is that inspite of knowing that it can still happen again and again, she has still chosen to live with him...
its been 8 years for their marriage now...
and 15 relapses so far...thankfully none as severe as the blow gayatri experienced the first time...but she still ends up being brutally beaten and forced upon sometimes!

ECT and antipsychotics havent shown much improvement in his case...
and no amount of counselling has helped in her case...she just refuses to understand...to give up on the marriage!
she has accepted this bitter reality as a part of her life and tries to keep busy at work...she has taken up teaching as a career--much to the reluctance of her family who still think she should stay at home and take care of her husband...the rigid mindset some people seem to have just refuses to bend even in the worst of circumstances...
gayatri still feels that she will never be welcome in her parents house if she breaks off from this marriage...

i couldent help but awe at the brave risk she is willing to take for life...and yet i cant help but disagree with the stupidity she rationalises the situation with....
gayatri only hopes that the next time, amit's recovery phase will last longer!!


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P.S: had written this 'reality-inspired' piece a long time back for 'aimless banter'--a blog which was breathing only for a very brief period of time...will be transferring a few deleted posts on here since i dont write in there anymore...
take care!

November 04, 2008

something to learn from....

Got this small story in a mail....liked it very much and thought of sharing it with u guys :)

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon,
everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
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MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

November 03, 2008

to the 'anony-mouse' who haunts my blog....

I had almost stopped blogging for good thanks to you....and then it struck me maybe thats exactly what u wanted....
im sure u are aware that i know who u are and im also pretty sure that u dont think too highly of me because if u did, u wouldent be back to play the same game.....
but u did...u got back...played the same game on here under the pretext of a clandestine identity and the idiot that i am, allowed you to....all over again!
Somewhere i had the hope that u would come out in the open, reveal ur identity...and so i played on silently even though i pretty much wanted to scream out questioning u straight, why u dint have the balls to come as urself....
neverthless i waited....

But realisation struck me once again....and this time it has struck me the hardest....
u know that small little voice which keeps saying that there is something more to it everytime something like this happens....yess that same small lil voice which kept telling me that u cannot be all that bad, has finally gone silent...gone dead!!
and after all these years, for the first time it has nothing to say in your favour.....

i had almost deleted my blog when another voice within me yelled and made me realise what a fool i had been and had i to stop blogging, it would just confirm that once again....
i dunno if uve realised but everytime u come to play this game, its you who's losing ur self respect (that is if u have any in the first place)

frankly speaking, this time i actually doubted if u were suffering from some serious psychological or even psychiatric problem to get a high from all this....
uve come to my blog before and we know uve always been great at mindgames...i couldent be any clearer than this....and just in case u think i hadent figured it out each time, lemme tell you for ur information that i could bet my life that it was you every single time u did that....nobody can be as spineless!
and even if im wrong, i dont give a frigging shit!!
From this moment onwards, if u ever think of playing this kinda anonymous mind game again, u'l find urself to be the only one playing....and needless to say i promise to make sure the world is right there laughing at you!!
i never imagined writing a hate post even in my wildest dreams....and that too one dedicated to you....but here i am and here it is....!!

kindly refrain from even reading my blog because hate and disgust is all that ive got remaining for you now...

as for blogging, i will NEVER let go of my passion to write....and especially not for someone soo insignificant as you (u must have understood that from the fact that it dint even take me 24 hours to realise that)...i regret that weak moment wherein i put up that impulsive 'goodbye' post...but not as much as i regret ever having known you!!


side note to everyone else who visits my blog: please do not ask me anything about this hence forth...all i can say is that pri is BACK to blogging and nothing has changed--except that shes feeling a little better and stronger!!

October 25, 2008

how much is 'too' much??

"How do you know how much is too much? Too much too soon. Too much information. Too much fun. Too much love, or too much to ask of someone? When is it all just too much for us to bear?"
---Dr Meredith Grey


Meredith asked a question and urs truly needs an answer.....
anyone??

October 24, 2008

a wedding surprise!!

Radha sat in front of the dressing mirror...she was going to meet him today...he whom her parents wanted her to marry....he whom everyone thought as the most eligible man worthy of her hand in marriage....he who she hadent ever seen but was about to spend the rest of the life with.....

she wondered if she should tell him about 'aakash'---the only guy who she had allowed to come into her life and turn it topsy-turvy....
she had met aakash on the net....thousands of mails, chat sessions and phone calls later, they had confessed they were madly in love....nobody knew their little secret though.....
living far away from home in the US, she had confided in this angel who she considered her soul mate....
savage garden's "i knew i loved u before i met you" happened to be their favourite song back then...

but gradually things changed....it was the fateful night of december 29th that radha realised that aakash was nothing but a stranger who had toyed with her feelings....
All of a sudden he did not have the time to chat anymore...he changed his cell number....mails to him started bouncing back....
it was then that she realised that for three long years, she was being fooled......fooled by some cassanova in cyberspace whom she had trusted and given her heart too......and apparently had left without any valid explanation....
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today, she was getting married....married to someone she hadent met...her parents had arranged everything for her and she had let them....she had returned just 5 days back, to india after trying to fight with the ghosts of her past....and she still wasent sure if they had been exorcised....

she remembered she had blindly agreed when they had told her about alok---a software professional in delhi...
her parents were happy...she was happy that they were happy...and most importantly she was angry...angry at aakash...angry at herself for letting herself trust aakash...and probably this was just her way of getting back...getting even...
'at what?? with what??' she often had asked herself...but she found herself with no answer...
but one thing was certain---she dint believe in her decisions anymore!!
akash was the first and last guy she had trusted on her own and that incident had left her scarred for life.....
'nothing can hurt more than this' she thought....
her parents had persuaded her to speak to alok but radha had plain refused...speaking to him would plain remind her of those times with aakash...she dint want to go through the 'long hours on phone' routine again...not with the person she was marrying..not with anyone!!
alok had agreed...though he found it a little strange at first, that radha refused to speak...but he was too floored by her pics to notice...and then again, the idea of an arranged marriage wherein he hardly knows the bride kinda enchanted him...the whole mystery element of opening up someone's life after marriage allured him...
he knew almost everything about radha and her family and he trusted their values...besides everytime he saw radhas pic, his mind stopped working...it was almost love at first sight...she was all he had imagined his bride to be!!
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there were just 3 hours left for the auspicious moment...3 hours and she would have to start a new life....

radha decided that she would finally leave 'akash' behind....it was high time she moved on...and she did not want alok to suffer because of some emotional baggage which she could never leave behind....
she decided she would never speak or think of aakash again...alok would never know about this chapter of her life she dint ever want to remember...
and then she had been able to avoid it to a great extent...she was beginning to feel the ghosts dint bother her as much anymore...
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3 hours later she was in the wedding hall, all decked up in bridal wear...she looked beautiful and was receiving many compliments....but alok had not arrived yet....
she wondered how it would be...the first meet in the wedding hall..she thought such situations exist only in the movies....and here she was, asif living in some different era betrothed to someone she had never seen or met...purely trusting her parents decision for her...
a part of her was scared...apprehensive...what if her parents had made a wrong choice...but another part of her said that it didnot matter...she dint believe in love anymore and wasent expecting a fairytale life anyways...

and yet there was a strange curiosity as how alok would be...
she had heard he was handsome...she wished she had seen his pic her mom had emailed her in the US instead of directly hitting the 'delete' button...it dint matter...she did not need anything which even remotely reminded her of the times she shared with aakash...she had even stopped accessing her email after that...
fighting with her demons took up almost all her time......
but now in the wedding hall, she silently promised herself not to let them affect her anymore...she was thnking aout alok, the one she was going to spend her entire life with...


just then someone tapped her shoulder from behind...she turned to see her mom standing with alok...he looked handsome in the rich sherwani he was wearing...he was smiling...he looked really happy....
finally they met---on their wedding day!
"hi"
"hello"
it was weird...meeting like this...she had never imagined speaking to the man for the first time on the day of her wedding...just a few hours and she would be in his arms on her wedding bed....
radha smiled at the irony of the situation....

and just then asif like a cold gust of wind,she saw a figure hurridly approaching them....
"heyy bro,u left the gift in the car...i just went an..."
and she FROZE!!

"ohh radha this is for you" alok said handing the gift, neatly packed in pink wrapping paper with a lot of hearts and angels on it..."im not thaat good at gift shopping especially when it comes to girls..so i took help from my kid brother here...
ohh and btw meet the stud---AAKASH"
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there was a deafening silence as two pairs of eyes stared at each other....

alok turned to akash and looking at his pale face, continued "i told u she would leave u speechless"

apparently akash had returned the very same morning from bangalore where he now had moved as his job demanded...
when family had informed him about alok getting married,he was only too pleased...being busy with his job the two brothers hardly got to speak much..if people didnt know how close the two brothers were, their lack of communication could have clearly been misunderstood as indifference...
this time too, the details were skipped as had always been the case....
"leave it as a surprise bhai...il'l meet u guys directly on THE big day now" he had said teasingly when alok had asked him if he should mail him a photo...


speechless he was, akash did not understand how to react.
"when we meet, time will stand still" he remembered flirting with her.
somehow life had come to a full circle....

as for radha, life had flung yet another surprise at her...here she was on her wedding day, meeting for the first time the man she was supposed to be getting married to....

and here had walked in, 'the one' she had been emotionally married to a long long time back....

October 18, 2008

juxtaposed realities

there was a HIM and a HER...

HE hated to smile even when he found so many reasons to
SHE had no reason yet always smiled
HE met people who really cared yet wondered what love is
SHE had noone yet knew all about it
HE was ambitious as hell but refused to dream
SHE was a dreamer and believed in them
HE knew no compromise
SHE had compromised all her life
HE thought sacrifice was 'futile'
SHE believed sacrifice was 'love'
HE had all the words but nothing to say
SHE had so much to say and yet could not speak all she wanted
HE could never make a decision without the fear of losing
SHE had never won yet kept taking decisions all her life
HE was building for himself a strong future
SHE built castles in the air
HE saw life with a practical approach
SHE never wanted to take off her rose coloured glasses

there was a HIM and a HER.......
each with a different reality...each with something to teach the other...each with something to learn....

there was a HIM and a HER....
and when they met, life was beautiful!!

PROMPT: 'juxtaposed realities' taken from 'matineemuse'

October 16, 2008

'55-limited'

she was always the delicate kind...but not anymore...tonight she had no choice...

watching her baby sleep peacefully, she waited for the poison to act on her too...

there was no sense playing the blame game that night...

disposing off his 'ELISA' report, her angry jaded heart wished him all the luck he needed...

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[PROMPT: taken from 3ww, words being 'jaded' 'night' and 'delicate'

the whole idea of this piece of fiction was to follow the '55-word' limit...that is to write something in EXACTLY 55 words---a concept not unfamiliar around the blogworld....
hope i was able to do justice
]

October 13, 2008

today is remembrance day....

i lost both my YAHOO accounts (nostalgia19992000 and dr_priyanka07) in october last year...it was painful..really painful!! *goes into drama queen mode with a violin in one hand and a box of tissues in the other*

all of a sudden my memory had failed me and i couldent recollect my newly changed password....unfortunately the overconfident me had the same changed password to both my accounts....
i fretted...fumed...cribbed...cried...begged to god to bless me with 'super-hacker' potential just for one minute (only to regain my lost password)...but all in vain!
there were people i couldent notify as i had lost out on all their email addresses...all my contacts were gone!!then there were those who i had deleted from my list but knew were just a click away...but now they were gone too!! in short, i was basically doomed!
all i could do is hope and hope and keep hoping that everyone in my contact list and out were somehow magically informed about my blog and would go around and read this and contact me some way or the other....

it was a disgrace to my ego who reigned in the glory that i can never forget anything...leave alone something as important as this!!
i couldent accept the fact that i would never be able to access my yahoo account anymore...
memories of messenger and mail haunted me night and day...i lost out on my sleep...
i remember those nights i used to wake up in cold sweat and shake myself from the nightmares of some evil gremlin changing my password and using my account to send spam all over the world....
i also started believing that this evil gremlin was reading all my well preserved mail which i had labelled 'sacrosanct' back then and deleting them one by one...it was slow TORTURE!! :-/

its almost a year now, and i sometimes am still haunted by the fact that maybe someone really important keeps mailing me on there and i dont even know! :-/
i know its a far fetched possibility but what if maybe ...just maybe!!
what if im notified of something very very important on there.??

what if i win some 5 million worth lottery and they decided to notify me on that email??

what if i won a dream date with brad pitt and since there was no reply from me, they decided to give it out to miss 'so-and-so'?? (ok for those who are wondering, people who i hate might be reading my blog too...so moi thinks naming her wouldent be that safe!! :-/)

what if mr right has mailed me saying that he is getting married??

what if he even has informed me of the birth of his newborn on there??
and here i am blissfully unaware....and there he is probably thinking how rude i am to not even congratulate him on the happiest ocassion (of his life)...sigh!!

what if all those stupid 'astro' sites i had subscribed to had something very important to tell me...maybe the stars had changed their mind and decided to get lucky for me??

what if there was that one chain letter waiting in my inbox which needed to be sent to 10001 ppl from ur friend list to bestow good luck on you forever..and more importantly what if it was the one that actually worked!!?? :-/

what if i was being awarded the bookers prize for a book ive not yet gotten about writing??

WHAT IF................

nooooo!! i need to STOPPP...im hyperventilating now!!

OK THANKYOU ONE AND ALL..u may go back to whatever it was that u were doing..shows over..hmpf!! :-/

October 12, 2008

life's lessons---from the learned...

life has taught veens to stop figuring out what life really is...and just go with the flow...and remember to live it

life has taught keshi that as she plans life, it has it's own plan for her

life has taught nitin why Godji has given 2 hands one to hold.. other to..
(nitin, buddy you should have completed that...you seem to have really learnt something which u think is soo very important...so go ahead, dont leave us baffled...give it a complete shot--speak your mind out!)

life has taught rambler not to take it seriously, its not worth it

life has taught sid that some things cant be changed...n which can be,have already been

life has taught luckydivz that living it is not easy!

life has taught deluded that its never wise to try and sneak into class if youre late(like they show you in the mentos ad).......it seems that the teacher also has a tv

life has taught priya joyce to be firm and strong in whatever situation she is

life has taught holytrance to think big and it will come true.

life has taught pavi!! that everything does happen for the Best. Eventually you’ll realize it

life has taught solitaire that everything works out in the end

life has taught urv that nothing can be taken for granted; most things turn out to be illusions

life has taught rantrareflect to be a self-coagulant, life makes ya bleed, but ya need to heal yourself n live on..

life has taught ceedy> that it has taught him really nothing and that he is still learning from the learned.

life has taught vandita that its not always fair and that might actually be required sometimes

life has taught sri to work for his dreams, even though its hard to achieve them everytime

life has taught adi that it is impossible to understand some people

life has taught alok that nothing defines but oneself and that he must remain true to his definition

life has taught anuj that it is more important to enjoy what you have rather than keep running after things that would eventually turn out to be meaningless
and 'to be himself and that things/people are not always what you think them to be

life has taught deepali that life goes on...Things change, people change, but life goes on.

life has taught stupidosaur that he dosent have a life and that it simply means theres nothing for him to learn :p

life has taught abhishek khanna the grass always looks greener on the other side.. but u never know!

life has taught ash89 that no matter what happens...someone will always be there to hold your hand and get you out of the worst

life has taught tulipspeaks that she will die the day she stops trying :)

life has taught punam that it is always best to let God do the talking for you. He always takes care of you, and answers all those people who hurt you in his own divine way.(and this she is speaking from experience)

life has taught anonymous that which doesnt kill you makes you stronger
that u should follow your heart..but make sure you know your heart before
that you should never let anyone fall for you if you are not going to be around to catch
to treasure your loved ones..because thats all you really have
ki paisa sab kuch nahi hai par sab kuch se kam bhi nahi hai

thanks everyone for sharing with us what life has taught you....this post will serve as a record...you are free to submit in your comments/learnings/views whenever u want...the lessons will be suitably updated for the others to learn from and you to smile over :)
thanks for sharing and reminding us about these pearls of wisdom which at some point, we all have been made to learn but some of which we somehow forgot along the way....
using the lessons that life has taught you through ur own experiences and of those around is entirely upto you though...so u gotta decide for yourself...afterall your are the only person who knows whats best for you...

Myspace Life Graphics Quotes



take care and god bless! :)

October 09, 2008

fill in the blanks....

complete the following in not more than 12 words.

"life has taught me...."



(just a side note:i read somewhere that 'all of us learn something in life---something which someone somewhere needs to remember'
hence this is a humble attempt to compile life's valuable lessons right here at nostalgic moments...
sometimes we cant afford to wait to learn all the lessons ourselves...
perhaps, sharing our thoughts will help someone learn something life has already taught us and probably us too in learning some lesson life has rendered someone else....

i admit life sometimes feels like one hell dark scary tunnel...but lets try and spread some light while we can :)

cheers!
)

October 06, 2008

its all about celebrating nostalgia....

scribbler: I want to see pics of your house
Do you have any?
me: umm....il'l have to search
will get some through
:)
scribbler: kewl
I like to see houses
It tells so much
me: it does??
and hows that?
scribbler: They have stories to tell in every storey :P
me: ahaa....
now thats interesting
har ghar chupchap se yeh kehta hain,
ki andar isme kaun rehta hain ;)
scribbler: you bet
me: thats the asian paint ad...special :p
scribbler:You know these things what they call paranormal activity
me: yaa? what about that?
scribbler: I've read and also one of my Colleagues who's into such stuff told me
jus like the audio gets recorded on the tapes
Some incidents make a deep impact on the walls
or the interiors of a house
me: :)
i think thats kinda true maybe
scribbler: it seems tht the walls do have ears in way
10:45 AM me:some incidents are forever saved in my house or maybe more like in my memory
and whenever i go to those rooms, i relive it all again
:)
scribbler: like for example if someone's brutally murdered in a room
You do get the vibes when ur there
THt was more of a sad example
me: heyy yaa thats scary..
im talking about positive experiences
scribbler: but it applies to the most happiest moments too
me: yeps...i agree...
scribbler: like for eg: the places we lived during our childhood
Nostalgia is triggered from both sides
me: hmm
10:47 AM scribbler: It's just like smelling an empty tin of strawberries
even if the strawberries aren't there
you know tht strawberries were there some how

me: :) thats a beautiful interpretation
10:49 AM scribbler: I so wanna go to my granny's place and take a nap there :-/
but tht place is sold
me: but u know scribs...sometimes this very same thing make us not ever want to go the same place again
scribbler: in a way it does
like bitter experiences
10:50 AM me: its more like everytime u enter that particular spaqce, u relive all of it..the memories come back...and u realise they are just memories now
dosent it make u miss them all the more?
scribbler: OH yes
you're right
me: no im not speaking about bitter experiences here
me: just some sweet moments which unfortunately are not with u nemore
scribbler: and thts how it is sweeto
You only know when it's over
10:51 AM me: very true
scribbler: I'm just learning to live for NOW
me: but then reliving it can only bring pain....pain that its over
pain that u would never get to live it again .....if not for these brief moments when alone
10:52 AM scribbler: we get so carried away at times with other things that our present is lost. And before we know it's past
me: yaa i agree...and i sometimes i feel its plain escapism not to visit those places nemore for fear of memories which haunt u
10:53 AM me but then the question is are u strong enough??
i guess there comes a stage when these same memories become ur best friend and dont hurt u anymore
10:54 AM the point is by doing this are we trying to cling on to the past?
scribbler: how true
me: and if we are, then is it the best thing to do?
scribbler: It's foolish to live in the past
10:56 AM But It's ok to look back
It's like this rear view mirror in the car. You gotta glance at it at times. But constantly peering into it won't help you at all.
10:57 AM me: hmmm...
me: what if u just remove off the rear view mirror...break it maybe...
i know that would be a risk to life...
but atleast ur freed in a way
:)
scribbler: It's not advisable to remove it
It comes standard
10:59 AM Removing it would only let you make more mistakes
YOu need to refer to your past experiences at times, don't you?
me: but thats only when u fear ur going to go the same path again...
11:00 AM scribbler: not necessarily
me: u dont need to refer to the past if all ur trying to do is run away from it...from anything like it...from everything
looking back and running will only tire u out
11:01 AM scribbler: Perceptions differ
if you consider mistakes as experiences I don't think it would
but if it's vice versa, you're stoppin urself with regrets
me: noo its not thatt...its more of not considering experiences as mistakes
:)
more of not regretting anything yet not wanting to repeat it someplace again...cos ur soo full of ur experiences that ur having a tough time making room for new ones
scribbler: I remember leaving behind a whole lot of things,
Some of it can be reclaimed and some will remain unchanged.
Few moments that can’t be reversed and a few things I may have to let go.
Because I believe that yesterday’s sacrifices become blessings of tomorrow....


the above is an excerpt from a conversation between 'scribbler' (from the blog world) and me...it happened to be one of those very few conversations which make u ponder long after they are over....
sometimes people who u feel dont know much about your life can actually surprise you by making few pieces of the puzzle fall right back into place....
its probably because all of us share a common pattern somewhere....dunno!

yesterday, i went through that locked chest of memories once again...and it was surprising how i felt them lying right there in some corners of my home where i had last left them......
it was painful--the realisation that i can never relive them again like the exact first time i experienced them....but the fact that they still happened to be fresh in the mind inspite of those several attempts to leave them behind amazed me, making me smile at the irony....

yesterday scribbler taught me something---that no matter how much ur running from them, its okay to peep back once in a while and gaze at those lessons of yesteryears but only long enough to learn from them and move ahead......
trying to avoid them will only drag their extra baggage wherever u go.....
memories are inevitable...dont try to change them...just play 'truce' :)

im sure all of us have atleast one memory we would want to live all over again....so feel free if u want to share them and help make a beautiful collage of nostalgia right here at 'nostalgic moments' :)

i dont know u enough...and neither do u and probably thats what eliminates the bias...nobodys going to judge u here...the moment u want to relive may be from any phase in your life....any part of your house...any corner of your world....
(updated: but i also understand that u might not want to share your memories because it is only natural sometimes to be selfish about things/incidents/moments that are very dear to us...so thats completely fine too...i leave you to decide...)

whether they are shared with others or not, one things for sure they are definitely not meant to be caged or locked away (atleast from the self)---these precious memories....life is all about setting them free and yet never losing them....
so open up your heart and release them....
lets not avoid them...lets not run away from them...
today, lets celebrate them for a change :)

October 04, 2008

spoiler ahead...but read--u might just want to be warned....

ok imagine this----
u are kidnapped by a psycho who has thrown u in some dingy surroundings with the constant threat of being killed...
he dosent smile...
he dosent laugh...
the guy dosent speak much (*HORRORS*) and neither does he allow you to speak much (*DOUBLE HORRORS*)...
the freak wants to kill your dad....
the freak has caught hold of your neck, tied ur hands,gagged you, slapped u hard on the face on several ocassions and even done some real freaky antics like placing ur hand on the table and running a knife through your fingers without looking....
in short the goon is a potential threat to your life...

now would u in your right senses wear skimpy outfits and prance all around the place where ur held hostage? :-/ (please remember ur kidnapped..so dont ask me where u'd get those from)
would u change standing on the opposite side of a flimsy see-through curtain with a huge bulb/lamp lit in the room ur changing in?? :-/
would u look really impressed and find it cool that the jackass has got some wires together and played around with camera settings and can see whatever ur poor dad is upto to save ur life??
would u act like uve never seen water and get all drenched in the sea/river/waterfall and try to seduce him with idiotic songs just so that u can hit him with a half broken bottle in the groin??
ok sorry but i did not find it sexy..thought it was pretty dumb actually...but then its bollywood! and ppl just search for excuses to wear white clothes and get drenched and break into a song...

besides i wrecked my head trying to figure out from where she got the bottle and why she couldent stab it in his chest or something..i mean that was a better way of ensuring him killed (if that was the intention in the first place..sigh!) and then it would save her from running soo much too....
yeah, if u still havent figured out what im talking about, let me spell it out for u....im speaking about 'K.I.D.N.A.P' the box office release this week....
sadly this turns out to be just another 'leave ur brains behind' movie....
Minissha lamba has tried very hard to make the audience not leave the movie hall midways (guy audience for obvious reasons)
unfortunately even the much spoken about superbikini shot failed to distract the audience for more than 10 seconds....

i mean cmon, since when did daddy dearest start climbing buildings like spiderman...if 'kabir' (imran khan) learnt all that while in jail, how did 'vikrant' (sanjay dutt)get the time to train himself with him being one of the richest and busiest man in the world??

there are many such unbelievable scenes...but the last scene takes away not only the cake but the baker and the bakery too :-/
can u imagine someone shot dead in the middle of a new years party (and that too while he is standing in the centre of a stage) and not one soul noticing??
ok its supposed to be a 'rave' party and all that sleaze but cmonnnnn!! *rolling eyes*

to make matters worse, we are reminded innumerable times by our dear insecure superheros that there are just TWO main characters 'vikrant and kabir' asif trying hard to say "please dont let the others steal our thunder..they are mere props" :-/

overall, 'KIDNAP' is dissapointment if u go with expectations and a brain

star cast minissha lamba---poor acting but has the potential to shed go the 'sherawat' way...
imran khan---the guy has quite well managed the negative image and proved that he isnt just a chocolate hero like uncle dearie...
sanjay dutt---he is choosing roles suited to his age but unfortunatelyis still expected by the filmmakers to play superhero which dosent go well with his whole parental image...
vidya malvade---she should choose roles her age instead of playing against oldies....she was good in chakde...she didnt deserve this :-/

music huh??? ohh yaa......music is by pritam
anyways whatever little there was of it, wasent needed....
director: sanjay gadhav(i) ;)

personal rating:maybe a 3/10

October 03, 2008

hellos peoples ;)

i just discovered this link on keshi's blog...with a lot of time on my hands and special credit to the dead weight of inertia which is holding me down these days, i had no other choice but to indulge in such nonsensical activities and humour myself ;)
neverthless i enjoyed playing around and as u must have noticed it dosent take much for me to have fun...me with my selfdiagnosed BIPOLAR disorder....sigh!!
anyways........






(this one above, i guess is truly bollywood inspired ;) )









and this last one was for the records---the 'yaadein' effect...the perfect blend of nostalgia and memories....i tried hard to blend in a coloured pic with the B&W background (thought that would be a more innovative idea) but much to my dissapointment, it dint work....
anyways fair enough as it goes with the vintage look of my blog...so heres to 'nostalgic moments' ;)

i could have posted a few hundred more ya know...but i thought i should maintain a low profile....heehee
P.S: dare to call me a narcissist and il'l personally come over and murder you!! :-/

September 28, 2008

back off curious cat...ur no friend!!


Ever noticed how people tend to ask u questions u least want to be asked and particularly at the worst possible time??...
well i really dont know whether its deliberate or err...deliberate..hmpf!!
I mean what exactly are they tryinsg to prove? concern,curiosity or whattt??

---ever noticed when u have the job security u always wanted, nobody seems to be asking about ur goddam work but the moment u lose/quit ur job, everyone comes prancing around suddenly taking interest in ur working hour schedule, what-you-are-doing-these-days, what u intend doing in the future et al...

---when u are just about trying to come to terms with a broken relationship, and all of a sudden everyone u know, starting from ur closest aunt to ur neighbours friends daughters neighbour seems to suddenly realise its time u moved on and got married and start suggesting prospective candidates...

---when u are just about to leave for a job interview,some friend will call u up and suggest that u should have applied elsewhere instead...
i mean hell! where were u when i was making that 'pro's and cons list'? hmpf!! :-/

---when ur all in high spirits about ur birthday nearing, some old aunt will decide to pay u a visit just to tell u how she was married with 2 kids when she was ur age...*rolling eyes*

---when uve just gone thorugh a tough divorce and decided that the 'single' life is the wayy to go, some stupid 50-something loser will come and tell u how he/she feels desperately lonely now that he is old and greying and how he misses having someone around when he is sick with cold and pneumonia...untill u start getting visions of yourself being in the same state....

---u just start feeling happy and proud of ur status around the blogworld and are just about to bask in the glory of the compliment overdose u been getting everyday, some evil gremlin decides to tell u that ur living in a virtual world with imaginary ppl who forget you as soon their PC shuts down...sigh! :(
and then u come crsshing down from cloud 9, all bruised and hurt et al...sigh!

im sure all of us have gone though atleast one of the above situations...
i mean cmonnn, dosent a person have a right to live life the way he or she wants to??
does the frigging society have to bother and take interest in everything u do or dont do....
why cant everyone mind their own stupid business and concentrate on their own lives instead??
everyone is stuck up in a mess i agree, but that clearly means that u stay in your OWN mess and try to sort it out instead of trying to gauge the intensity of the messed up lives of people around you and estimate how low they are feeling....
and if u tell me that u care about me and thats why u want to hear the story, dont expect me to be stupid enough to buy that one!
as much as nobody needs your sympathy,nobody needs your curisoity either.....and its high time people got that...

ohh and please dont think i will mistake your comments as curiosity :D
ur most welcome to share ur views and opinions...the difference is noticed only
when it crosses the line...and most of the times it only comes from those u dont want it from....lol!!
so feel free to share your thoughts/frustrations/experiences with me....rest assured no advice uncalled for, will be offered atleast from my side....it'll just be a common ventout among us cohorts of the same irritated frequency ;)


they say curiosity killed the cat...but sometimes i seriously wish it worked for humans too! :-/