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July 02, 2008

a 'normal' life...

this post is inspired provoked by a tiny comment posted by an anonymous someone on the previous post which said that he/she deserves to have---a 'normal' life...
ive heard many people say that before...infact ive said it many a times myself---"i need a normal life"..."i want a normal life"...
but ever wondered what exactly is a normal life??
or on second thoughts, can life ever be as normal as we want it to be?
does the concept of a 'normal' life even exist??and if so what are the criteria?
dont they keep changing?
what is normal to u might not be to someone else...
so what exactly is this 'normal' life?
well after a lotta reflection, ive finally come to the conclusion that its not life that needs to change or turn normal...but our thoughts which need to be pushed to have a normal outlook...
yeah i agree, life is stubborn...it is stupid...it is mean...
but arnt we in a way, pretty much the same...constantly cursing life when the truth is that things can improve if only we bring about a change in our perspective?

ok please do not think im preaching...this post goes out here as a reminder to myself too...especially on those blue days when i go high on the 'anti-life' philosophy...
enlightenment strikes me only on certain lucky days...and so i have to record and save it for future use while im there...sigh!

here is my small list of do and donts to try and make our life seem 'normal' ...
1)every morning when u wake up, think of the day ahead...make a mental note of what u plan to do throughout the day...
take each day at a time...if ur having a problem even with that, start with one hour at a time :)

2)if u really want to do something but are worried about what people would think of you if u dont succeed at it or are afraid that they may laugh/talk behind ur back, then relax and save the energy...
people may gossip about it but not for long...they'd soon find more juicier things to gossip about...and nobody will really bother about ur failure...
but if u dont give it a try, u would regret not doing it for the rest of your life...
u wont worry about what people think about u if u got to know how less often they do that...
so just go right ahead and do what u want to...its YOUR life and u dont want to regret 'not trying'...


3)DO NOT worry about the future...
nobody knows whats coming and thinking and worrying over something we have no clue about is futile...
here, i dont mean that u shouldent plan about your 'tomorrow'...u have every right to...but dont think about it soo much that u tend to neglect ur present...

4)remember u are not alone...
there are millions of people out there who probably have a more messed up life than u could ever have...just that u dont know them...
remember that everyone is fighting a struggle of their own...we are cohorts of the same messed up frequency in this race of life...but everyone is running...because giving up is the losers way out...

5)try ur best never to regret anything...
we all are human and mistakes happen i agree...
u need to recognise them as one and move on...learn from them so that u dont repeat them again...
but dont spend ur entire life in guilt...i know this is difficult...but if u dont learn to forgive urself for the mistakes uve made, u will never be able to move on...
i agree the thought sometimes haunts you...
someone hurt because of something uve done...
someone hurting because of you...
but just remember its a cruel world and cruel things happen...it was a stroke of bad luck that u were a part of one such thing...
but if u cant do anything to correct it or improve it, there is no use crying over it...one person crying is bad enough!
if a 'sorry' would help, dont hesitate...apologise and get over with it...that way both parties will be at peace...
if u really regret something, its never too late...go on and do something about it!
and if u think nothing can be done, then stop fooling urself...it just means u dont regret it! :)

6)if ur angry with someone, dont let it get the better of you...
letting off the steam is much better than hurting from within...but most often we stay silent and keep it all bottled within us for hours together...
permit urself to be overcome by any emotion especially anger or hatred, for not more than 5 minutes...then move on!

7)this one is rather difficult...because as humans, expectations are a normal thing...but try expecting a initial neutral reaction from everyone u meet no matter how amicable u are...
if you begin to expect everyone to be indifferent towards you, u will see the world isnt as bad as u expected ;)
the problem is with expectations and when ppl dont live up to them...
so learn to lower ur standards and ul notice life strives to raise them up for you...
try it out...seriously!!

8)
SMILE a lot...sometimes even when u dont feel like...just try stretching the corners of your mouth...it isnt that difficult! :)
we might not always win...but we can atleast try to complete the race...eh?? :)

9)
there is a saying--dont go soo far with someone that u cant come back alone...
always make sure u remember ur way back...life is full of surprises...and it has this weird way of springing them at the least expected of times...
love dosent come with a life-time guarantee...and just like life, people change too...so always be prepared!
"dont make anyone your everything...because when they leave, u are left behind with nothing!!"


10)never ever compromise on your self-respect...
the one and only way to earn respect from others is when u learn to respect yourself...

11)remember u are capable of doing anything u want to do...u just have to want it enough...u are the best uve ever known!! :)
pay a deaf ear to people who try to lower ur self confidence...they just dont know u enough!

12)at the end of the day, if u feel u dint get about working as per ur morning plan, dont worry...tomorrow is a new day!
start afresh...learn from the spider who inspite of slipping everytime never gives up on weaving his web...
but do not postpone for tomorrow what can be done today...just like any exam, the more backlogs u have the more difficult it is to clear them...so avoid procrastination---its a evil habit which can ruin u!

there are just some points ive mentioned to help us view life in a better (if not more normal) way...there are many more which life teaches us along the way...but then again,as i said before,normal is pretty subective...
we might be doing all these things and yet life may not seem 'normal' sometimes...
if so, then all il'l say is "just hang in there...things are just about to change!" :)

32 comments:

ash89 said...

My friends say that my life is an exclamation mark. Is that normal? :P :P

lukkydivz said...

pri, come and tell my mom about no.2 in detail...that will be the biggest favour :P

Alok said...

But where is the definition of 'NORMAL-LIFE' or rather just NORMAL ???

BTW, it’s a good post but to me didn’t look like normal ;)

Solitaire said...

Oy..add another point too. If all this fails, pay a visit to the shrink. :)

rantravereflect/ jane said...

normalcy is reached only when we reach abnornalcy.. sooooo yehhh.. it's nce to see a happy post, with such top-brass lines on living life ryteeee :)
always smile, no regrets, face it all with optimism, give a dun-care-a ddamn attitude- all tat help big tyme:)
ya keep smilin sweethart :)
n keep it goin grt!

Abhishek Khanna said...

normal is a relative word

normal life is so boring... same life no excitement

come outta dream doc

life can nvr be normal

Sutta said...

The word 'normal' is too dull.
But yet every one years to have a normal life. When they say I want a 'Normal life' it means like someone else's life which they think is 'normal'. Which if you look won't be normal for "that" person.

On the other hand, why do we always want to be someone else?
Are we not happy being SELF? Why the hell do people have to keep on following the herd and live that so called "normal" life!

I Walk Alone!!! said...

Normal is being what you are and enjoying it too :)

Its simple to be happy, but its difficult to be simple. :)

You are indeed a DOC. You can heal with words as well :)

lukkydivz said...

how u?

something for u on my blog.

Ankur said...

Sorry for being so late to comment!!
but just didnt want to comment aise hi, so here i go...

1) really i cant do that, coz that makes me feel restless!!!
:(

2) I love learned it hard way... i was actually rejected at a point of time in my life, but i dont give up on myself and others too easily!!! :)
Ya, there are things still unfinished, but i have my priorities and will take it as they come!!

3) i am still thinking over it... nice!! :)

4) oh truly, my gtalk title was the same for long time...
Everyone is lonesome!!! :)

5) I dont regret it, but at the same time there is some other feeling which is certainly not regret, but which makes me feel bad at times!!!!

6) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10... and there it goes...

Pri i was really a very angry young man types!!!
but now i dont do it tat much... no anger.. kiske liye karoo yaar... life is so short for all this!! :)

7) yaar.. yeh difficult hai, pata nahi i m too much into emotions, ppl i dont know much also hurt me at times!!!!
i think its coz i think too much!! :-/
but will look into this also!! :)

8) woh toh log kehte hai mujhe ki i always do that, ppl rarely see me sad in real life, u however see more of it!! :)
thanks for being there!! :)

9) **"dont make anyone your everything...because when they leave, u are left behind with nothing!!"

pehle batane ka nahi hota... :D
pehle milti mujhe Pri tu aur yeh kehti... ab kya!!! :P
but i m on my way to making that everything being erased!! :)

10) i do it just with friends... never otherwise!!! :)

11) i make plans and then i really dont worry if they work out well or not!!!
coz yes, with time and environment, thingschange!!! :)

this is a superb post, a real gem of a post!!!
This is one of the best posts i have read across bloggersville!!!
Thanks a lot Pri!!! :)

*hugz*
Cheers!!!

ceedy said...

Cool post..

Got some access today...(addiction :P)

This post reminds me of that sone...Suncreen...

Known Stranger said...

after a long time i am visiting your page. Normal life. For many a life without any much changes or routine life with no hurdles seem to be normal life. A IDEAL life. I some time say - why cant i have a clerks job in LIC and live simple life but one day as I sat with my LIC clerk friend he said how difficult his life and is not at all normal in his view. Normal is a relative term as you started with what is normal to you may not be to other. And i will add one more thing. What you feel normal will become no more normal moment you start living the so called normal life.

Pri said...

@ ash89
no worries...my friends often get exasperated with me and say my life is a fullstop :D
so relax because stories rarely end at exclamation...
heres wishing there is a pleasant surprise awaiting you at the other side :)

@ luckydivz
sure divs...gladly
or on second thoughts, u could explain it to her better urself..she would be happier hearing it from you :)

@ alok
///But where is the definition of 'NORMAL-LIFE' or rather just NORMAL ??? ///
thats exactly the point...there is NO definition!! :)

///BTW, it’s a good post but to me didn’t look like normal///
haha looks like u have just defined 'normal' then...
could u rephrase that? because err i dint quite get it...
whats soo 'abnormal' about the post??

@ solitaire
well sneha, u r hearing this from a shrink herself :)

Pri said...

@ rantrareflect/jane
thanks jane..you too :)

@ abhishek khanna
sigh! as usual i guess u were multitasking while reading the post werent u?
thats y u dint notice that i did say the same thing...well and those points are to make life 'seem' normal...dhyan se padh! :p

waise what u may call 'boring' may just happen to be what all of the rest of us are craving to have...not all people (unlike you) want constant exitement and surprises in life :)

@ sutta
i totally agree...

///Are we not happy being SELF? Why the hell do people have to keep on following the herd and live that so called "normal" life!///
well here i would say otherwise, 'normal' dosent always mean 'typical'...
we dont necessarily mean we want a life akin to others around us when we say that we wish for a 'normal' life...
and if people did follow the herd, then everbody would be having similar (read 'normal') lives...
the fact that we all have different problems...different issues...different stories...just means that we arnt living the same way
each one is trying out a different experiment and yet hoping for a uniform standard result :)
now that isnt really fair is it??

Pri said...

@ i walk alone
well said! :)
but its a pity that like 'normal', 'happiness' is also a relative term...
thanks a lot for the compliment...u made my day!
i was told the exact same thing by a patient some weeks back and it had gotten me beaming the whole day through *blush* :D

@ luckydivz
yeps i got that...it was very sweet of you :)
thanks for the beautiful dedication...

@ ankur
///Sorry for being so late to comment!!///
no problemo...its totally fine! :)

///1) really i cant do that, coz that makes me feel restless!!!
:(///
whys that????
its supposed to make u feel more organised and sorted...(even if u rnt..lol!)
which part makes u restless?---the 'one day at a time' part??

///2) I love learned it hard way... i was actually rejected at a point of time in my life, but i dont give up on myself and others too easily!!! :)
Ya, there are things still unfinished, but i have my priorities and will take it as they come!!///
best of luck for it then!
and its okay...almost all of us learn it the hard way...that way life makes sure, we never forget :)

///Everyone is lonesome!!!///
not really...u are only as lonesome as u want to feel :)

///5) I dont regret it, but at the same time there is some other feeling which is certainly not regret, but which makes me feel bad at times!!!!///
ok im going to be outright blunt here (at the cost of it seeming rude)---
why do u feel bad about it?? or is it like 'feeling bad' about it is like an ego boost??
if u really feel bad, then u'd do something about it...otherwise just move on clean...i refuse to believe the 'feel bad' crap

///6) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10... and there it goes...

Pri i was really a very angry young man types!!!
but now i dont do it tat much... no anger.. kiske liye karoo yaar... life is so short for all this!! :)///
nice :)
but i just hope u rnt bottling up all the anger within..because i havent met a person who manages to keep his cool ALL the time...
so its better to unleash ur anger and get over with it than store it up inside...

///7) yaar.. yeh difficult hai, pata nahi i m too much into emotions, ppl i dont know much also hurt me at times!!!!
i think its coz i think too much!! :-/
but will look into this also!!///

well i never allow people i dont know to hurt me...
honestly speaking, even if they try, i dont hurt because i dont really care!
its only ppl who i care a lot about that manage to hurt me...infact it scares me sometimes...but i cant stop caring nor hurting :)
its weird i know...probably ur better off caring about everyone!

///8) woh toh log kehte hai mujhe ki i always do that, ppl rarely see me sad in real life, u however see more of it!! :)
thanks for being there!! :)///
no problem at all! u can count on me for kicking u on the backside whenever u get into those 'blue' moods :p
u snap out of it faster that way..and thats what friends are for neways :p


///pehle batane ka nahi hota... :D
pehle milti mujhe Pri tu aur yeh kehti... ab kya!!! :P
but i m on my way to making that everything being erased!! :)///
like i said, enlightenment strikes me only on some rare ocassions...
warna do u normally see me as sensible?? :-/

///10) i do it just with friends... never otherwise!!!///
i dont do it EVEN with friends...

///11) i make plans and then i really dont worry if they work out well or not!!!
coz yes, with time and environment, thingschange!!!///
well tomorrow is a new day...what is disposed off today can be tried again tomorrow isnt it?
so cheer up even if at first, ur plans dont work out! :)

///this is a superb post, a real gem of a post!!!
This is one of the best posts i have read across bloggersville!!!
Thanks a lot Pri!!! ///
thanks...im glad it helped :)


@ ceedy
aa finally access to the addiction again?
"hotel internetfornia" eh? :p
the sunscreen song is amazing...
and now ur giving me ideas..maybe i should sing these points...
would have a better effect ;p heehee

Pri said...

@ a known stranger
very true! :)
it just goes to show that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence...
things might not always be as they seem and yet sometimes we fall for it...sigh!
human nature...cant help it!

Keshi said...

Very good post Pri!

Alot of ppl see 'NORMAL' in other ppl's lives. When in real, those ppl see others' lives as normal and it goes on.


Normal to me is MY life, with all the good n bad. Everyone has a normal life, if they care to see it as that.


Keshi.

Mee xpressions said...

Well I spent the last two days going through all your posts on blog..so u can guess how much I liked it..well I have no more words to describe how I feel about your blog..
Keep going!

aditi said...

But if you wnat to truly love, you have to let go of everything even with the risk of having nothign left.
Soemtimes it's worth not having a normal life!

Rakesh said...

true..it is best post i have ever read till today..i appreciate ur thoughts....noraml life is subjective thing...how u think abt. ur life thats very imp. thing.....i always worried abt success....why did not get this that...but after a long time i realized my approach was weird...it made me depressed--frustate....be happy and "jo a rha hai use le lo aur jo nahi mila use bhool jao" thats my mantra..good post

Karthik S said...

Though it is difficult, if you have least expectations, you wont have much to worry about. I loved the way you explained all the points.

Great post !!

Cheers :-)

RADhika said...

it's true, everybody have their own perspective of leading a normal life..
but i liked the 6th point of yours.... :)

Sundar ;-) said...

Hmm.... That was a good writing! To add on something to what u have written...
" Enjoy the Life... Today, this hour, this minute and even every second you live.."
"The love doesn't come to you when you dont pay something. U need to pay ur love for that! Love people and get loved by all!!"

crasiezt said...

Aila inna lamba post!!
Yaar normal is sad and boring..

Pri said...

@ keshi
///Normal to me is MY life, with all the good n bad. Everyone has a normal life, if they care to see it as that///
i wish we all could think like you all the time...
most of the times we tend to notice only the things going wrong...

@ mee xpressions
now that compliment leaves me speechless...thankyou!
it got me straight on cloud 9 :D

@ aditi
yea...very true!
but sometimes we give it all our everything and in the end, there is nothing we can call our own...
we win (having truly loved) yet lose (not being loved in return)...
there is a saying which people often tend to ignore when in love---"never go so far with anybody that u cant come back alone"
its sad that we tend to realise the meaning of this sentence only after crossing that extra mile...
till then its all about being in love and being true to love...

///sometimes its worth not having a normal life///
i beg to differ...its worth not having a normal life only in the movies...
i would rather find ways to make my life atleast seem normal (to myself if not to all)

@ rakesh
thanks for appreciating my views on this topic...im glad u agree...
as for ur mantra, its a real cool one...though i believe if we want something soo much, we can never forget about it...
maybe we should learn to accept life without it instead of trying to forget it...that would be easier i guess! :)

Pri said...

@ karthik s
thanks...i just hope i have been able to do enough justice to the post without hurting any sentiments...

@ radhika
///it's true, everybody have their own perspective of leading a normal life..///
yes and everybody has their own definition of a 'normal' life too...
but then again, we can only try to change our perspective...the rest will take care of itsself :)

@ sundar
well sometimes u love someone with all u have and yet it isnt enough...
sometimes u love someone but ur love isnt reciprocated...
sometimes u love someone who dosent even know or care...

as i said earlier, expecting an equal response could be hurting...so impossible though it may seem, all we gotta do is STOP expecting (which i admit, again is very difficult)...
but we got no choice but to hope that someday our love would be understood...but at the same time, we also gotta understand that there is a possibility that it might never be...
so we have to learn to be ready to face that too...

neways, thanks for ur views on the topic :)

@ craziest
'normal' life isnt sad or boring for people who (think they) dont have one :)

Ashu'z said...

hey u dont visit moi blog ?

Đžidhi S said...

I totally agree with Rohit - SUTTA

we always yearn for wt we dont have and as it is said that graSs on the other side always seems greener...

We go on with our lives, and keep thinking that noone has got more problems in life and take other to have normal life, but normal life whatw e yearn for is so vague a thing to say when we ourselves dnt have the slightest of idea as to what it actually would seem like.

(Did i make any sense)

Alok said...

Yes, "Normal" is defined by the collective. What is normal changes as times change.

However, everyone knows, internally, what life they really want. It's just that they never really care to ask themselves. They just look at their neighbours and, since everyone's doing it, stay normal.

secret admirer said...

my life would be normal if only u are in it with me :)

your secret admirer

viswajith.k.n said...

This post of urs is poetically beautiful! One of the most wonderful writings (written by bloogers) that I have read...super job

Pri said...

@ ashu'z
heyy sorry about that dear...have been real irregular at visiting blogs lately...been real busy :(
will catch up with u soon...

@ nidhi s
EGGJACTLY!!:)
and yea u made perfect sense...

@ alok
///What is normal changes as times change.///
i agree...the definition of normal changes with time...but the belief that our life isnt normal hardly ever does...

/// everyone knows, internally, what life they really want. It's just that they never really care to ask themselves. They just look at their neighbours and, since everyone's doing it, stay normal.///
well, its more like we always find the grass greener on the other side...and thats probably only because we dont go 'weed hunting' there (like we do in our own lawns) :)

@ secret admirer
huh???
sorry but i dint get that...
but one unasked advice for u---"never wait for someone to come into your life and make it normal...uve got to do that urself"

@ vishwajith.k.n
thanks a lot for that kind comment...ive just stated the obvious...wch sometimes we all need to be reminded of :)