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October 16, 2008

'55-limited'

she was always the delicate kind...but not anymore...tonight she had no choice...

watching her baby sleep peacefully, she waited for the poison to act on her too...

there was no sense playing the blame game that night...

disposing off his 'ELISA' report, her angry jaded heart wished him all the luck he needed...

------------------------------------------------------------

[PROMPT: taken from 3ww, words being 'jaded' 'night' and 'delicate'

the whole idea of this piece of fiction was to follow the '55-word' limit...that is to write something in EXACTLY 55 words---a concept not unfamiliar around the blogworld....
hope i was able to do justice
]

30 comments:

Greyscale Territory said...

What a neat package of tantalising ideas! Enjoyed the enigma of this piece!

•♥Sindhu :)♥• said...

That was very good!!

Left its effect behind!

Princess said...

yea, u hv given justice..
nice one.

Prats said...

But by taking away one's life is not beign strong at all...so there is a conflict of emotions within her...
You've written well with few words..powerful

ThomG said...

Powerful is such a tight space. You might of read some of my extreme flash fiction, but I came up with something on my own, Fiction in 58, or 58 words. The exercise does teach you to choose words very carefully.

Pri said...

@ greyscale territory
i was hoping i could do justice with the idea...writing something like this in just 55 words was hell tough!

@ sindhu
thanks :)

@ princess
thanyou dear :)

Pri said...

@ prats
///But by taking away one's life is not beign strong at all...///
"watching her baby sleep peacefully, she waited for the poison to act on her too.."
if u read this line properly, u will notice the 'too' in it which only means that she has poisoined her baby and put her to sleep forever and then consumed the poison herself....
and that is a very strong step to take especially for a mother....
hoping that would explain the conflict of emotions there :)

@ thomg
yess i totally agree...it also teaches u to use a few words and yet speak a lot :)
thanks for dropping by...will definitely come over and read your space for ur experiments with word limits :)

Blog Boy said...

very powerful thoughts in so simple and less words!!!!

very nice!!!!

TC said...

This left me with several questions, but I don't mind so much being made to think.

Praveen said...

this idea is a novelty to me..havnt seen it before..
gr8 writing!

tumblewords said...

Nice job of a short write - the ending continues in the reader's mind!

Pavi!!!! said...

Great job Pri...Therz the begn n end to the story...all in 55 wrds..thts really amazin!

BTW a fellow bloger Burf..writes plenty of such stories..i mean the ones in 55 words. If ur interested u shld find his link in the comments section of my blog.

Vandita said...

great stuff... i dunno how u manage every single time :-/

mayz said...

how can u guys think so well??
really admire ur creativity

ps: blogrollin ya

Keshi said...

u did pretty good Pri! I'd be like stopping at '555' and saying is that enough? LOL!



Keshi.

CrazyHeart said...

that was fantastic:)

Prasad said...

PHEW! tht was neat stuff man!

Pri said...

@ blogboy
thanks for appreciating...frankly speaking, it was kinda tough restricting myself to sum it all in soo few words...
maybe i should try this more often :)

@ tc
i guess thats what the idea behind '55-limited' is---give wings to the readers imagination :)

@ praveen
ohh u havent?? it is quite popular around the blogworld...
i have tried it before too...heres the link---
http://lifeofpri.blogspot.com/2008/03/55-limited.html

take care! :)

Pri said...

@ tumblewords
thanks dear....
well, thats the intention :)

@ pavi!!
thanks girl..and yess will definitely stop by his blog to read :)

@ vandita
haha...i dunno how u manage to leave me grinning every single time too ;)
im afraid il'l get addicted to the overdosage of compliments around here sometimes...
but thanks neways...luv ya guys :D

@ mayz
heyy thanks im flattered....coming that from you, its really a compliment :)

@ keshi
lol!! but u definitely should try ur hand at it sometime dear...im sure ul'l do just fine :)
sometimes a few words can convey across a thousand chapters....

@ crazyheart
thanks dear...i see a change of name there :-/
whassup?? *raises an eyebrow*

@ prasad
thanks :)

Karthik S said...

I'm sorry, what is ELIZA Report???

Urv said...

Neatly done Pri. I have seen this limited word concept a couple of other times.. I don think I can do it :( I am not so good with stories..

ceedy said...

You have a gift my friend

to move hearts and head ponder when you write short or long

good one, its a contradiction and you have brought it out well

and as usual (comic releif)
when I saw 55- limited as the title I thought it was smg to do with Buses. That is 55 words!

ceedy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pri said...

@ karthik s
ELISA is 'enzyme-linked-immuno-sorbent-assay'
it is a test commonly used to diagnose HIV (human immunodeficiency virus--responsible for AIDS)infection,

Pri said...

@ urv
thanks :)
u ought to try it to know if ur good or not...
and u know a good 'short story' is a combination of the imagination of two minds---the writer's and the reader's :)
the writer for laying his thoughts and the reader to follow them way after the story has ended...

*smiles*

@ ceedy
thanks (for the compliment) and BRAVO!! :D

*pats herself on the back for inspiring the great CD into it* ;)


@

Chaggoholic.... said...

Well the story was gud but for the illiterate few the meaning of ELISA wud be like wanderin on google and gettin back.LOL nice one kp postin....

susan said...

I did not understand killing the child. Very dark and chilling. Thanks for the read.

Pri said...

@ chaggoholic
well that way i can say i provided a bit of information too ;)
thanks for appreciating!

@ susan
the cue word in the post is 'ELISA'
it is a test used to diagnose HIV infection...hope that explains...

Entertainer said...

nice creation

Pri said...

@ entertainer
thanks :)