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October 04, 2008

spoiler ahead...but read--u might just want to be warned....

ok imagine this----
u are kidnapped by a psycho who has thrown u in some dingy surroundings with the constant threat of being killed...
he dosent smile...
he dosent laugh...
the guy dosent speak much (*HORRORS*) and neither does he allow you to speak much (*DOUBLE HORRORS*)...
the freak wants to kill your dad....
the freak has caught hold of your neck, tied ur hands,gagged you, slapped u hard on the face on several ocassions and even done some real freaky antics like placing ur hand on the table and running a knife through your fingers without looking....
in short the goon is a potential threat to your life...

now would u in your right senses wear skimpy outfits and prance all around the place where ur held hostage? :-/ (please remember ur kidnapped..so dont ask me where u'd get those from)
would u change standing on the opposite side of a flimsy see-through curtain with a huge bulb/lamp lit in the room ur changing in?? :-/
would u look really impressed and find it cool that the jackass has got some wires together and played around with camera settings and can see whatever ur poor dad is upto to save ur life??
would u act like uve never seen water and get all drenched in the sea/river/waterfall and try to seduce him with idiotic songs just so that u can hit him with a half broken bottle in the groin??
ok sorry but i did not find it sexy..thought it was pretty dumb actually...but then its bollywood! and ppl just search for excuses to wear white clothes and get drenched and break into a song...

besides i wrecked my head trying to figure out from where she got the bottle and why she couldent stab it in his chest or something..i mean that was a better way of ensuring him killed (if that was the intention in the first place..sigh!) and then it would save her from running soo much too....
yeah, if u still havent figured out what im talking about, let me spell it out for u....im speaking about 'K.I.D.N.A.P' the box office release this week....
sadly this turns out to be just another 'leave ur brains behind' movie....
Minissha lamba has tried very hard to make the audience not leave the movie hall midways (guy audience for obvious reasons)
unfortunately even the much spoken about superbikini shot failed to distract the audience for more than 10 seconds....

i mean cmon, since when did daddy dearest start climbing buildings like spiderman...if 'kabir' (imran khan) learnt all that while in jail, how did 'vikrant' (sanjay dutt)get the time to train himself with him being one of the richest and busiest man in the world??

there are many such unbelievable scenes...but the last scene takes away not only the cake but the baker and the bakery too :-/
can u imagine someone shot dead in the middle of a new years party (and that too while he is standing in the centre of a stage) and not one soul noticing??
ok its supposed to be a 'rave' party and all that sleaze but cmonnnnn!! *rolling eyes*

to make matters worse, we are reminded innumerable times by our dear insecure superheros that there are just TWO main characters 'vikrant and kabir' asif trying hard to say "please dont let the others steal our thunder..they are mere props" :-/

overall, 'KIDNAP' is dissapointment if u go with expectations and a brain

star cast minissha lamba---poor acting but has the potential to shed go the 'sherawat' way...
imran khan---the guy has quite well managed the negative image and proved that he isnt just a chocolate hero like uncle dearie...
sanjay dutt---he is choosing roles suited to his age but unfortunatelyis still expected by the filmmakers to play superhero which dosent go well with his whole parental image...
vidya malvade---she should choose roles her age instead of playing against oldies....she was good in chakde...she didnt deserve this :-/

music huh??? ohh yaa......music is by pritam
anyways whatever little there was of it, wasent needed....
director: sanjay gadhav(i) ;)

personal rating:maybe a 3/10

20 comments:

ash89 said...

i was planning to watch it... but obviously its not worth my time! :)

anuj said...

now ur surely gonna cut their revenues.

Vandita said...

hmm i looked like a take off on excess baggage from the day the promos hit the screens... and i liked that movie pretty much.
and i really wanted to watch it only coz imran khan is smokin hot... but ab lagta hai only 45 rs ki ticket pe dekhni padegi that too if my frnds agree. :(

Solitaire said...

Hahahahaha!!! Thanks for the spoiler!

Hemanth Potluri said...

i wud rate 2.5 ...u have given something extra..i wud perfectly say its a big waste of time and it ruined my day :P..

urs..hemu..

Pri said...

@ ash89
absolutely!

@ anuj
obviously! they should have known better than to make sucha crappy movie :-/
its an insult to the mental status of the audience....

@ vandita
well imran khan IS kinda hot in it no doubts...he has potential as a good actor--that guy!
but maybe he shouldent be soo careless in selecting scripts the next time around :-/

@ solitaire
ur most welcome dear :-/
it is but my duty to warn my friends against such disasters ;)

@ hemanth
well i wasent expecting much from it actually...yet it dissapointed :-/

MAD said...

that was a fantastic review..:)

Ria said...

OMG!such a disaster and to think of it i was planning to see this movie soon coz it had Imran in it. But thanks for the warning....saved me my hard earned money.

aneri_masi said...

Gadhav :)
ROFLM Gadhav O :)

Pri said...

@ mad
thanks dear..that was a HORRIBLE movie :-/

@ ria
well almost everyone had thought of giving imran a chance including me...but looked like the filmmakers had something against the guy....
may 'success' and 'sense of judgement' be with him in his future endeavours :-/

@ aneri_masi
:D
u noticed!!

Stupidosaur said...

How can there be any more spoilers if it is already as spoilt as you say it is ? :)

Blog Boy said...

you are right...
My weekend wasted...
not at al worth a watch.

Pri said...

@ stupidosaur
well technically speaking, ur right on this one....
the word 'spoiler' here should be replaced by 'warning' i guess :p

Pri said...

@ blogboy
i can imagine...i dint have a lot of expectations and yet i was let down...so i can imagine someone going for a weekend show...
sheesh! what a waste :-/

Ashish Gupta said...

Gosh! thanks a lot for the heads up. I would've have really watched it in fast fwd. but now I don't think its worth it to download even a pirated copy for free!!!

Man, I've always hated Bollywood for such movies, glad to know AGAIN that I'm right! :-D

Princess said...

hi pri,

u do reviewing too well..
neways, m not gonna risk my worthy time for this one..

much luv,
-Aiz.

Pri said...

@ ashish gupta
well, i wouldent say i hate bollywood...
bad cinema is bad cinema irrespective of whether its bolly/hollywood....
and we are all aware that there are some real wonderful movies which break the mould of the stereotype masala flicks :)
so i guess u shouldent be biased all the time and maybe give the bolly guys a chance too....
but kidnap is definitely not worth wasting your time especially if ur one of those busy kinds ;)

but then again, there are those who never quit and there are those who never learn....and there is a third kind which is the most dangerous of the lot---those that never learn but never quit.... :-/

@ princess
thanks dear...and trust me, thats the right decision :D

ŋεεяѕ said...

lol...good one

specially liked the 'gadhav' :p

nice blog :)

Deepali said...

Ya I heard the movie was very bad. Not going to bother with it.

kartoos said...

nice review:-). though aamir has come outta the choc boy image