THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVE :)

THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVE :)
CLICK ON ABOVE IMAGE TO ORDER YOUR COPY OF THE NOVEL

November 24, 2008

time to get your creative caps on---storytime-4!!

I dont think i need to explain much about this since almost everyone here is familiar with the monthly 'storytime' tradition on 'nostalgic moments'....
so we are back again...lets start weaving ;)

anyways here are the rules for those firsttimers who arnt yet familiar with it...
--->i will start with a line...a random sentence and u guys have to spin a yarn around it...got the picture??

--->each of u will have to contribute one line after another...and continue the flow of the story...

--->u can comment however as many number of times as u want but make sure that there shouldent be two 'consecutive' lines contributed by the same person...and also each comment should have just ONE line of the story...

--->anyone and everyone (this includes first-timers to 'nostalgic moments' and non-bloggers too)is allowed and requested to contribute...just make sure u go with the flow...and would appreciate if u leave ur name or ID behind so that we have atleast that to associate ur talent with ;)

--->the characters in our story can be given names as long as they dont keep changing :p..so make sure u read the comments before u before contributing ur own...new characters can be added...

--->u can make sure of any form of writing--direct, indirect or both...

--->u can write anything u want but please keep in mind not to write anything offensive as it is against the ethics of my blog...also make sure u dont include anything that wud hurt the sentiments of fellow bloggers :)

--->make sure u just put nothing but 'ur line' in the comment section...

--->please do not be hellbent on taking only ur idea forward by ignoring the other comments on the way...remember 'storytime' a joint effort and the point is to go with the flow...so just in case ur idea gets neglected along the way, do not take offence and strike back with a vengeance by deviating from the flow and sticking to ur point--thatll only make it senseless...and remember we are here to make sense from the nonsense :p


--->please try to wrap the story up by monday 7pm IST...if not urs truly will be compelled to put up a crappy ending of her imagination(u know how pathetic my stories are and often they dont even have happy endings..so dont say i dint warn u! heehee)

On 1st december at exactly 7pm IST, i will collect all the contributions, as they are and in the same particular order from the comment section and post them...and voila!! lo and behold! there will be, OUR VERY OWN PROUD STORY!!...heehee

so gear up and get ready to create the wackiest, funniest, strangest story of all times :D
it could turn out to have tragedy, drama, romance, humour...but the best part is its going to be UNPREDICTABLE! and can twist with every single line...somewhat like life eh??
so lets get started........


so presenting before u the line which starts it all ;) *drumrolls in the background*

"ohh so this is what the much talked about planet--earth looks like??" they whispered to each other as the spaceship landed...


cheers and keep it rocking! :D

November 22, 2008

"tuesdays with morrie"---a must read!!


I just finished reading 'tuesdays with morrie'
its an amazing book by mitch albom....and one cant help but devour it in one stretch....
its a pageturner and yet its something which will remain with u throughtout ur life....each word pulls at ur heartstrings in sucha way that u never want to let go...and fair enough if u follow what 'morrie' has to say, u will always be happy in life :)
the book speaks about the the rekindled relationship of mitch albom with his dying professor...the only person who can understand him perfectly...and just like he understands life....
its heartwrenching and ironical how this man has so little of life and yet understands it like noone can....his perspective leaves u in awe just like it left mitch....
'tuesdays with morrie' is one book i will always hold dear and i cant help wishing i had known atleast one person half as wise as him :)

here are a few lines from the book which left a deep impact on me----

"have i told u about the tension of opposites?"
the tension of opposites?
"life is a series of pulls back and forth...u want to do one thing but u are bound to do something else...something hurts you, yet u know it shouldent..u take certain things for granted, even when u know u should never take anything for granted.
A tension of opposites is like a pull on a rubber band and most of us live somewhere in the middle"
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"sometimes in the mornings," he said "thats when i mourn..i feel aorund my body. i move my fingers and my hands what ever i can still move---and i mourn what ive lost..i mourn the slow incidious way in which im dying.but then i stop mourning"
just like that?
"i give myself a good cry if i need it.but then i concentrate all the good things still in my life.on the ppl who are coming to see me..on the stories im going to hear..on YOU-if its tuesday.because we are tuesday people.
"mitch i dont allow myself any more selfpity than that...a little each morning..a few tears..and thats all"
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"sometimes u cannot believe what u see..you have to believe what u feel..and if u ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that u can trust them to--even when u are in the dark...even when you are falling"
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"take any emotion--love for a woman or grief for a loved one or what im going through, fear and pain from a deadly disease. If you hold back on the emotion--if you dont allow yourself to go all the way through them---you can never get to being detached. you're too busy being afraid.you're afraid of the pain..afraid of the grief..afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.
but by throwing yourself into this emotion, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. you know what pain i..you know what love is..you know what grief is..and only then can u say "all right, i have experienced that emotion..i recognise that emotion.now i need to detach from that emotion for a moment"
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"we all know how to be a child..its all inside of us..for me, its just rmeembering how to enjoy it.
the truth is when our mothers held us, rocked us, stroked our heads---none of us ever got enough of that.
we all yearn in some way to return to those days when we were completely taken care of--unconditional love, unconditional attention.
most of us dint get enough"
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(morrie on the topic of love)
"in business people negotiate to win.they negotiate to get what they want.maybe you're too used to that.
love is different.love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation as you are about your own"
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(this is what morrie explains to mitch about the value of aging)(mitch): yes i said but if aging were so valuable , why do people always say "oh if i were young again"..u never hear ppl say "i wish i were 65"
He smiled "you know what that reflects?unsatisfied lives..unfulfilled lives..lives that havent found meaning..
because if uve found mreaning in your life, u dont want to go back.you want to go forward.you want to see more.do more.u you cant wait until sixty-five"
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(this is morrie's answer when questioned if he worried about being forgotten after he dies)
"i dont think i will be.ive got so many people who have been involved with me in close intimate ways.and love is how u stay alive even after you are gone"
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(morrie's views--on building a little subculture of your own)
"i dont mean u disregard every rule of your community.i dont go around naked for example, i dont run though red lights.The little things, i can obey.
But the big things--how we think,what we value--those you must choose yourself.you cant let anyone--or any society--determine those for you"
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(morrie's words---on forgiveness)
"its not just other people we need to forgive mitch" he whispered "we also need to forgive ourselves"
ourselves?
"yes.for all the things we dint do.all the things we should have done.u cant get stuck on the regrets of what shold have happened.that dosent help u when u get to where i am"
"i always wished i had done more with my work.i wished i had written more books.,i used to beat myself up over it.now i see that never did any good.make peace.u need to make peace with yourself and everyone around you"

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morrie brings a smile on your face inspte of all the pain he is living through and the best part about it is he dosent see the pain and at times even makes u envy him...everything he says makes soo much sense...
i finally understood what they mean when they say its your perspective that matters :)
i guess thats what 'tuesdays with morrie' was all about....
Mitch albom has put it across beautifully...and on reading the book i couldent help but fall in love with morrie :)
if u guys havent caught up on it yet, you are really missing out on something...its a read of a lifetime!

November 21, 2008

no beginning...no end...!!

why am i afraid?
what am i scared of?
do i know him or do i just think i do?
is he as indifferent...as arrogant as he comes across sometimes?
and if that is true, then why am i still drawn towards him amongst the crowd??
and then again, am i really important to him as well or is it that im feeling that way only because i probably want to?
is this just friendship or am i just being afraid and labelling it as that?

and then thinking about it, what is it that is holding me back?
fear, insecurity or a deep sense of comfort that things are good the way they are....??
since when have i been soo afraid of speaking out my thoughts?
since when have i feared the outcome soo much?
since when have i been soo confused about my feelings?
have i changed back again into that vulnerable wretch i promised myself never to change into?
am i treading into the 'crush' 'infatuation' or worse still...the 'love' zone??
or am i just reading too much into it thanks to the stupid bollywood flicks im wasting time over these days?

some questions are never answered....
some answers are lost along the way....
and some deliberately unattended to...

i might never know what it is...because some emotions are best ignored!! :)

P.S: you are requested to refrain from jumping to any definite conclusion atleast not until i reach one myself....lol!!

November 16, 2008

so what do u think of me??

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. Something I have and YOU want?
4. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it?
5. Describe me in one word.
6. What was your first impression of me?
7. Do you still think that way about me now?
8. What reminds you of me?
9. If you could give me anything what would it be?
10. How well do you know me?
11. How do you see me in the future?
12. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
13. Are you going to post this in your blog and see what I say about you?

ohh for those who are still trying to figure out what just hit them, this is the most popular tag being taken up in blogsville....
well i guess opinions do matter to us afterall eh?
so go ahead...blast on!
i wouldent call this a narcissist tag as put by mayz (courtesy whom i got to know about this one) because i dont really know what its going to do to my ego....so maybe il'l just leave it as a 'what do u think of me?' tag
honest answers expected from everyone who visits my blog :)

please do not take cover under the anonymous option i have enabled once again (on the request of those lazy souls who want to share their opinion on my posts but dont have the patience of registering an id to do so...hmpf!!)....hence would appreciate if u leave your name behind so that i can personally come over and shoot u in the head just in case u write something nasty *evil laugh*

tadas!

November 13, 2008

height of boredom---i tagged myself!!


I was just too bored..so i tagged myself with this questionaire 'tumblestone' had taken up a long long time back (during his good ol blogging days)....

1. complete this phrase: "if only i could..
understand life a little better...

2. did you get enough sleep last night?
lack of sleep is never a problem for a chronic insomniac like me...im too used to it...

3. what were you doing before you slept last night?
looking at the green lizard on the ceiling and wondering if it has discovered its purpose in life...

4. first thing you thought about this morning when you woke up?
about the green lizard and where it must have dissapeared...

5. do u ever wonder why the sky is blue?
no ive got too many other things to wonder about....

6.Did you ever try to skip meals?
too much of a foodie to try...

7. lights on or off?
well that depends.....

9. are you afraid of the dark?
no not really...if i cant see it (the object/creature of fear), it cant see me either and i take comfort in that :-/

10. favorite hangout/s?
i keep changing hangouts...its not the place which is important...its the company :)

11. what are your plans for tonight?
try to focus more on what the green lizard is doing in life and wonder if it ever plans to come down my rooms ceiling :-/

12.people you can't live without?
obviously the people i love most...

13. favorite song when you're sleepy?
any slow song with good lyrics that i can listen and drift away into the pleasant land of dreams...

14.whats new??
duh! the stylish haircut i just had today *batting eyelids*

15.are you a giver or a taker?
depends on who is at the other end and how much i care....

16. if you could choose another name,what would it be?
sorry...i love my name too much to change it....

17. is there any person in the world who knows everything about u?
hmm almost everything??--maybe!...EVERYTHING??--no!

18. last text message from?
someone on the other side of the globe....

19.what were u thinking right now?
about that text msg u made me think of :)

20.whats the one thing u hate most been done to you?
someone taking me for granted

21.are u in love with life or do u hate it?
hmm mixed feelings :-/
apparently it all depends on what its doing to me...

22. if you were dead and your soul was given another chance, what would you do first?
ask "WHY MEEE??!!" :(

23. if you could choose your eye color,what color would you like to have?
would yellow suit me or would i look icteric??
ok jokes apart, i could die for a hazel brown....the kinda eye colour my dad has :)

24. what are the things you always bring?
smiles, laughs, friendly banter if im in a good mood....
when im in one of my bad moods, then its usually 'the great depression' that i rub off everywhere i go :-/

25. do u believe in love?
yeah sure i do...but maybe its just not meant for me to believe in....

26. any question u would love to ask someone?
yeah...to all my blog-mates..."whatever happened to good ol passing tags around??
i hardly see any these days"

so heres to bring back the tag spirit,
i tag
---luckydivz
---mayz
---sid (i hope u take it up...would be a good comeback reason)
---rambler
---meera
---khushi (who apparently follows my blog but hardly ever comments :( )

and last but not the least anyone who is as bored as i am.......

cheers!!

November 12, 2008

got any answers???


that is how the age old saying goes....


but what would u think it is if that someone returns everytime only to go away again?

November 11, 2008

P.S: u can forget about the gift now ;)


heres wishing one of my bestest blogger buddies sidhant a very very happy birthday and a wonderful year ahead....
he dosent haunt blogsville as much anymore...he even pretends to be too busy at times doing i-dunno-what...but neverthless here's to a great aatma (just so that it dosent find another reason to 'bhatkofy')
i always complained that i found sidhant to be one of those cold unemotional beings....oh yeah, nothing has changed...i still see him as one! :D
but needless to say he is one person who can create magic with his words....when i dint know him all that well and when sidhant was 'sid' of the blogworld, i used to often imagine how this guy would be for real....each of his posts brought about a special emotion....created a certain magic wch lingered long enough for me to revel in it...
and then finally the curiosity got the better of me and we got to know each other better...

so even though we have not met yet, we do know that we share a special bond which come what may will remain with us forever--together or apart.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SID! :)

November 06, 2008

ahem!!

to all the single ladies out here----
what would u say if 'pappu' proposed to you??

to all the single ledas---
how would u feel if u were 'pappu'??

(P.S: those naive and innocent souls who arnt yet bollywood-stricken and are oblivious of 'pappu' , please turn on your speakers before answering the question.....)

November 05, 2008

'schizophrenia'---a truth scarier than fiction.....

gayatri felt all alone---once again...
she felt the four walls of her plush house closing in on her as she sat on the bedroom floor sobbing...
it was just that morning that she had woken up in the arms of her husband amit...as he played with her hair he had kissed her goodmorning and told her to stay in bed as he made breakfast...
gayatri felt she was the luckiest woman on earth to have been married to sucha loving man...
she hurridly took the breakfast tray from amit...being from a conservative background her mother had reminded her never to allow her husband in the kitchen...
"he is the breadwinner and ur supposed to take care of the house..dont try to exchange roles and ul always be happy' she remembered her mothers words at the time of her marriage...
It was only because of this that gayatri, who had persued her MA honours had suppressed her desire to work as an independent woman...
the duty of being a 'perfect housewife' had been ingrained in her ever since she could remember...
she remembered her dad bidding her goodbye on her wedding day...as expected he hardly had tears in his eyes...

in a way, gayatri was glad she was leaving...she had always felt unloved at her parents house...
and amit...he cared soo much......atleast thats what she thought till a whole 2 months of marriage...
untill that day...
gayatri was alone in the kitchen cooking when the doorbell rang...
"who's it?" she asked as she reminded herself to tell amit to get an eyehole fitted to the main door...it was dangerous where they lived...with the only neighbour moving out soon...
"OPEN THE DOOR" shouted amit...

relieved it was amit, gayatri smiled...he had forgotten to kiss her goodbye as he left for office today...
she blushed as she adjusted her hair and dusted off the dough from her hands...
but when she opeed the door, standing before her was a total stranger...there was a strange expression in his bloodshot eyes which scared gayatri...he pushed the door open and forced himself into the house...

"who are u romancing with, u bitch?" he screamed "what took u soo long to answer?"
she kept staring at him not knowing what to say...the person she saw was a total stranger...yet he looked and sounded just like..........'amit'?????
before gayatri could collect her senses, he dragged her by the hand into the bedroom, constantly abusing her on the way...
his eyes kept wandering in different corners of the house asif...he was searching...for something...for someone!!

"please stop this...ur hurting me" were the only words gayatri could utter in the shocked state of mind she was in...
her world was crashing down...bit by bit...
the one man who cared soo much about her---what had come over him???

" i KNOW ur trying to kill me...u want to run away dont u? i saw u smiling at anand the other day...
and i know u tell everyone im crazy...u think im mad dont u...u b***h"
he flung her on the bed...
"whats wrong with u?" trembled gayatri..."what are u saying? who is anand?"
his words were spinning in her mind...she couldent comprehend what he was saying...
the next thing she knew was he was groping her all over as he ripped her clothes open and raped her for the next 45 minutes...

paying a deaf ear to gayatris screams, he continued raping her mercilessly...
it was only when the neighbour got back, that he heard gayatri screaming and got help...
gayatri lay almost lifeless on the bed as 4 health personneles physically restrained amit who was still violently screaming abuses...her marriage had turned into that one big disaster she had never imagined it could turn into....




amit is an old case of paranoid schizophrenia and has been receiving treatment since the last 20 years...he keeps suffering from delusions and auditary hallucinations...
'anand' does not exist at all...he is just a permanent entity in amits mind...and is the basis for all the delusions of infidelity he suffers from...
gayatri was badly traumatised by this incident and it took her a very long time to recover..both physically as well as emotionally...

the mistake on his part (apart from the one that he kept it a secret from the girl he was marrying) is that he thought he was improving and stopped all medication since the last 2 months...
the mistake on her part is that inspite of knowing that it can still happen again and again, she has still chosen to live with him...
its been 8 years for their marriage now...
and 15 relapses so far...thankfully none as severe as the blow gayatri experienced the first time...but she still ends up being brutally beaten and forced upon sometimes!

ECT and antipsychotics havent shown much improvement in his case...
and no amount of counselling has helped in her case...she just refuses to understand...to give up on the marriage!
she has accepted this bitter reality as a part of her life and tries to keep busy at work...she has taken up teaching as a career--much to the reluctance of her family who still think she should stay at home and take care of her husband...the rigid mindset some people seem to have just refuses to bend even in the worst of circumstances...
gayatri still feels that she will never be welcome in her parents house if she breaks off from this marriage...

i couldent help but awe at the brave risk she is willing to take for life...and yet i cant help but disagree with the stupidity she rationalises the situation with....
gayatri only hopes that the next time, amit's recovery phase will last longer!!


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P.S: had written this 'reality-inspired' piece a long time back for 'aimless banter'--a blog which was breathing only for a very brief period of time...will be transferring a few deleted posts on here since i dont write in there anymore...
take care!

November 04, 2008

something to learn from....

Got this small story in a mail....liked it very much and thought of sharing it with u guys :)

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon,
everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
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MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

November 03, 2008

to the 'anony-mouse' who haunts my blog....

I had almost stopped blogging for good thanks to you....and then it struck me maybe thats exactly what u wanted....
im sure u are aware that i know who u are and im also pretty sure that u dont think too highly of me because if u did, u wouldent be back to play the same game.....
but u did...u got back...played the same game on here under the pretext of a clandestine identity and the idiot that i am, allowed you to....all over again!
Somewhere i had the hope that u would come out in the open, reveal ur identity...and so i played on silently even though i pretty much wanted to scream out questioning u straight, why u dint have the balls to come as urself....
neverthless i waited....

But realisation struck me once again....and this time it has struck me the hardest....
u know that small little voice which keeps saying that there is something more to it everytime something like this happens....yess that same small lil voice which kept telling me that u cannot be all that bad, has finally gone silent...gone dead!!
and after all these years, for the first time it has nothing to say in your favour.....

i had almost deleted my blog when another voice within me yelled and made me realise what a fool i had been and had i to stop blogging, it would just confirm that once again....
i dunno if uve realised but everytime u come to play this game, its you who's losing ur self respect (that is if u have any in the first place)

frankly speaking, this time i actually doubted if u were suffering from some serious psychological or even psychiatric problem to get a high from all this....
uve come to my blog before and we know uve always been great at mindgames...i couldent be any clearer than this....and just in case u think i hadent figured it out each time, lemme tell you for ur information that i could bet my life that it was you every single time u did that....nobody can be as spineless!
and even if im wrong, i dont give a frigging shit!!
From this moment onwards, if u ever think of playing this kinda anonymous mind game again, u'l find urself to be the only one playing....and needless to say i promise to make sure the world is right there laughing at you!!
i never imagined writing a hate post even in my wildest dreams....and that too one dedicated to you....but here i am and here it is....!!

kindly refrain from even reading my blog because hate and disgust is all that ive got remaining for you now...

as for blogging, i will NEVER let go of my passion to write....and especially not for someone soo insignificant as you (u must have understood that from the fact that it dint even take me 24 hours to realise that)...i regret that weak moment wherein i put up that impulsive 'goodbye' post...but not as much as i regret ever having known you!!


side note to everyone else who visits my blog: please do not ask me anything about this hence forth...all i can say is that pri is BACK to blogging and nothing has changed--except that shes feeling a little better and stronger!!