can a person fall out of love??
i was speaking to a friend yesterday about this and according to him, if a person falls out of love, it probably never was 'love' in the first place...
that statement of his got me wondering...
he further said that its more of a crush or an infatuation if u fall 'out' of it...
thinking about it, i dont quite agree...
in my honest opinion, no relationship can work if one-sided..ofcourse there is this strong feeling of unconditional love that u justify urself with..but somewhere down the line it tends to wear off and then things either turn ugly or just simplify themselves.
lemme explain my point---consider a situation between 'A' and 'B' ...now if 'A' has feelings for 'B' but 'B' does not have any feelings for 'A' then what 'A' feels for 'B' is also love (according to universal definitions--though the small voice within me is nudging me to add that love is supposed to be a set involving TWO ppl with the SAME feelings for each other).
but going by universal definitions, when 'A' is in love with 'B' but 'B' isnt, then the question is how long can 'A' stay in love with 'B'??
ok this again depends on how 'B' is towards 'A' but clearly if 'B' does not love 'A' who inturn is in love with 'B' then it only means he/she will start expecting 'B' to react in certain ways which 'B' wouldent understand..and then there will arise confusion..chaos..dissatisfaction!!
and eventually 'A' will realise that relationships work best only when balanced and clearly this is not the case and slowly but surely start falling out of love with 'B'
is it fair to say that 'A' was never in love with 'B' and that it was just a crush?
isnt it unfair for feelings to remain just the same even when they are not reciprocated?
i strongly feel that it is but natural to fall out of love when it is not reciprocated and yes i also feel that it is only fair to realise and not be the fool or in some cases the psycho in the relationship (if you can call it one).
at the same time, i wudent belittle the feelings 'A' had for 'B' to begin with, by saying its just a crush which passed away..neither would i dismiss it off as an 'ego matter'.
i would simply call it 'falling out of love'!! :)
ok now coming to the only other situation that can arise---consider a different situation with a different 'A and 'B'...wherein 'A' and 'B' are in love to begin with and gradually 'A' realises one fine day, that he/she isnt in love anymore.he has fallen out of it...now what should 'B' do?
i say "nothing".dont try too hard to fall out of love because eventually it will happen.it may take days, weeks, months or maybe years.that clearly depends on how many fairytales and chickflicks uve seen and believed in as a juvenile.
but soon enough ul be right there and just like u did when u bumped into love, u will just know when u fall right out of it!!
practical or cold hearted as it may sound, i think it is humanly not possible to keep loving someone when he/she clearly does not feel the same about you...because somewhere down the line, when things get bitter or cold, there are no memories to lean back on--there is no love to depend on..
instead there are moments of hurt which keep coming back to you.
moments of unreciprocated feelings..
moments of misunderstandings..
moments of let down expectations..
and apparently and ironically thats when things appear crystal clear!!
ofcourse again you are left with a choice---u either face it and allow yourself to fall out of love (its easy--you just gotta keep your eyes and ears open..but its also not that easy because u gotta keep your heart closed as well to the many reality checks u have to keep inflicting upon yourself at the cost of some self-humiliation over and over again plus the fact that crushing those rose coloured glasses love makes u wear is kinda painful as well) or as the only other option goes, stay in love, bask in the feeling as long as it lasts, build castles in the air, day dream about happy endings and eventually cry with the broken pieces once the one-sided fairytale is formerly over!
I agree falling out of love is never easy but at times it is very much needed.
sometimes just like falling in love, it catches u by surprise and one fine day u realise u are not in love with that person anymore...
but sometimes u just gotta try and try and try to wake up---just like beating yourself with a hammer til that part of u grows numb only so that when u eventually stop, it'l feel good...
all said and done, there are people for whom falling out of love is just as easy as falling into it..
but there are also those 'i-will-believe-what-i-want-to-believe' dreamers who just need that extra shove from reality!!
A mighty pain to love it is,
And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain.
peace to all!