and that's the way the cookie crumbles...

One thing guaranteed by life is that all of us manage to learn something from it...
and in the end, or maybe if we are lucky, somewhere in between, we realise that almost everyone else is leading a life in sync with ours.
our realities may be juxtaposed but our dreams bind us together...
yes, life does have a few cliched lessons to teach all of us travellers.
its somewhat like we running towards a common destination but each through some different route..
the hardships, the encounters , the realisations, even the mistakes overlap and yet we feel that life couldent teach anyone any better or through a way any worse..

the idea of exploring a whole new world online enchanted me, apalled me, alarmed me, intrigued me and finally overwhelmed me...
the concept of befriending nameless and faceless identities without any bias of caste, creed, looks, religion, nationality impressed me...and as i entangled myself into the 'net', i realised that i was slowly forgetting one basic rule of this virtual world---u can learn from it..but u cant live in it!

There were times when my real life friends fretted and fumed and tried to convince me off it..there were times i agreed that i was probably neglecting my life a little too much amidst this elusive virtuality but everytime i tried breaking loose, something proved to me yet again that at the end of it all, its still real people and emotions u dealing with--no matter how virutal the online world seems...
and soon enough i learnt to strike a balance..ofcourse when it came to understanding me, i shamelessly admit there have been times when i felt that perhaps i could confide a little more in the person sitting miles away with the computer screen and an unbiased outlook in between than someone who knew me all my life...

perhaps the internet was meant to be my route of learning a few lessons in my journey.
maybe the surreal virtual world was to teach me a few things that the real world outside, wouldn't or possibly tried but couldn't manage to teach.

and maybe just maybe that made all the difference!
a difference in attitude..
a difference in understanding life..
a difference in sharing perspective from a view point other than mine..
a difference in growing up...

and so today i want to thankyou all for making this journey such an interesting one, so mesmerising that i was too blinded to even notice the line between virtuality and reality until it was pointed out to me.
i found some genuine friendships on here which i will always treasure and hold dear..
on the flipside, i also encountered many a masked pretenders who at times broke my trust in all relationships through their words and actions..but clearly the former who helped build it up again easily outnumbered the latter..yea ive been lucky like that!
i learnt to appreciate the beauty of the mind and the heart rather than the short lived beauty of physical appearances..and ive been fortunate to know some really wonderful souls who managed to impress me with not just words but more with their thoughts..and for this i will always be thankful to blogsville!
yeah, its also true that i made sure i did maintain a distance due to which some genuine feelings got hurt...it was a way of trying to maintain a balance to ensure that things never turned ugly.
looking back, i dont even know if i actually managed to succeed in doing so...and i realised how uncomfortable that can be only when i myself was put at the receiving end of the same situation.


today, i find the balance i took great pride in maintaining, go a little haywire again..
small things have begun to matter once more..
friends who once upon a time never missed out any post have suddenly vanished outta sight.i admit even i have not been able to keep up with visiting my fav bloggers which gets me wondering if thats the reason they arn't seen here anymore.

my posts seem to be unintentionally reflecting dissatisfaction with myself and my life, which with great difficulty i had managed to surface from and im afraid of going back into..
once again a dead weight inertia seems to be weighing me down to an extent that it has begun to scare me..and i see myself falling slowly back to a point where i have been before and had promised not to go back to..
there was a time when i had succeeded in becoming comfortably numb, and life begged me to become a lil more emotional..and it is indeed ironical that just when i allowed my feelings to take over, it handed me the hammer again!

i first joined this beautiful world out here when i felt that reality was getting a bit too tough to handle..but now that the same beautiful world is posing a threat to my peace of mind, i see myself wanting to run away from here too..while im still ahead!
this might seem cowardice to some..some might think im taking the easy way out..some of you might think im an escapist who does not want to introspect on whats happening in life out of fear that she might just be proved wrong...and yet i know, that some of you will call this a publicity stunt like is always said in hushed tones when someone writes a goodbye post.
but the truth is, sometimes life leaves u with no other choice and u succumb yourself to it outta fear that it might screw up things worse lest you disagree and stay..
i know that im not weak but sometimes life does not allow you to be as strong as u want to seem and thats when u know that its time to take a break..

yet somewhere there is a small voice which tells me that perhaps this is not the end.
we will meet again in better times, definitely maybe! :)

till then i hope to stay alive in your 'nostalgic moments' just as you all will live in mine---for eternity!

best wishes,