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March 05, 2011

ego

There is this small part within every single one of us that craves to be fed..that yearns to be satisfied and ironically never is.
It makes me wonder how much is actually enough for the human ego to reach its 'satiety' point??
Its a simple logic----i feed your ego, you like me..i hurt it and you hate me like there is no tomorrow.
so where does the truth stand in all this pampering?
or does it really have a place at all?
I have ended up unknowingly experimenting along those lines and judged reactions..many a times, i have gone right ahead and blurted out the truth, just to see what really matters.
and as expected, have felt the vibes of hatred towards my frankness steaming in my direction?
'your makeup is too loud today' i once told my friend when she asked me how she looked..she gazed into the mirror and did what she thought was 'toning it down' and asked me if it was okay..to which i gave her an honest answer and told her it was still looking a little garish and that she should opt for milder shades.
Little did i know then, that i was hurting her ego.
It was only when she started dripping sarcasm for a good consecutive five days after the episode that i actually realised where it was coming from.

Today a friend asked me if he had done the right thing pertaining a particular situation regarding his ex..he said he wanted to know a girls perspective on it and that i should be honest.
When i obliged and told him what i really thought about it, he logged off saying that he wasn't in the mood to talk any further.

so u see how it goes, i agree with you, compliment you, support you irrespective of whether i think its right or wrong and you will like me..
If i am honest, i end up hurting your sentiments.
EGO i have realised, is one of the most dangerous of human emotions.
Its not that i haven't fallen prey to it myself, i have too.
It spares noone and ends up destroying the best of relationships.
Pride keeps interfering and keeps us away from confronting the issue and sorting out the problem.
we wait for the other to take a step forward which is what the other waits for too---end result, an issue which is never sorted, an intact ego and ironically, a relationship left in broken pieces, which are impossible to put together.
and then again, there is the convenience with which we label the demon as 'self respect' when it comes to our own self and 'super-ego' when it comes to others----mere self consolation which we hope will last us a lifetime, to save us the guilttrip.

but i ask, is it really worth it??

ego...the reason apologies are not given!
ego...the reason why the silence keeps growing!
ego...the reason the void continues to deepen!
ego...the reason we misunderstand without knowing!

ending here with a quote my school teacher had penned down in my autograph book, ages ago, an advice i still hold very dear----
"in life, don't be like the oak tree..it is tall & mighty but trees get uprooted during storms..instead, be like the blade of grass, bending yet never breaking"

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

First Congratulations... Knowing u since so many years... i see u Growing..


Second... Answer to EGO ..Ego with ourself changes its form gravity & depth by direct influence of external world / entities with whom we need to react....Ego is well appreciated if we keep it as Organised part of our Personality rather then have it fed irrationally towards intangible celebrated Scores for ourselves

we cannot have an idealistic model for ego...as Ego doesnt fall into pure Science ....it forms its generation in Survival pscychology...

So one need not wonder & cloud mind with EGO... instead follow the Traditional trend of what ur teacher has Rightly penned down in ur Autobiography book

A Germ

simply me said...

@ mr kitanu
welcome back..have been missing your insightful comments :)
i agree with what you are saying..ego in moderation is what is called 'self respect'.but often times, we fail to see the difference esp when it comes to the self.

btw, you are the first to join me in my journey..thankyou..
and now that you are here, you better not leave midway---its a dhamki!! ;p

Anonymous said...

@ Dear Friend

I dare not ..... !!!
Thankx for the comfort.... !!
Its my Pleasure ...more than you i am happy to be back on this blog....
Thank you for Mailing it...

Hope everyone's at the best of health at ur end.....

A Germ

simply me said...

@ mr kitanu
yeps..its indeed been a long time..will talk to u sometime soon :)

hope everyone's fine at your home.give them my regards!

Bhawna Kapoor said...

I feel its beautiful when atleast the awareness of the presence of "ego" begins to dawn, giving me ample proof that I am separate from the ego.

I am about to finish "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. Its definitely the finest and most detailed yet simple understanding of ego that I have come across.

Wish you all the love and peace.

Bhaaw