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January 18, 2014

Sunanda Tharoor: The chinks in her armour...

Last night, screaming headlines shocked the nation about Sunanda Tharoor's untimely death in one of Delhi's poshest hotel rooms. News reports informed that the union minister and his wife were staying at the Leela Hotel since two days prior to the catastrophe, due to some renovation at their residence. The horrific incident apparently occurred somewhere between 3.30pm (when she was last seen in the hotel's lobby) and 7.25pm (when Shashi Tharoor along with the hotel staff broke open the hotel door only to find his wife's lifeless duvet covered body in bed). In the absence of any suicide note or source, the police are left clueless about the cause of her death. However, mystery shrouds the case as suspicions arise due to recent comments and happenings that have transpired in the recent past.

It is no secret that there have been strained relations between the seven year long married couple due to Shashi's alleged affair with a certain Pakistani journalist Mehr Tarar. All those following the celebrity couple would be well aware of the twitter war that the trio were fighting.
Who would know that an immature online squall would result in such a disastrous consequence? Who knew that a social platform would be responsible for wiping off fifty two years of a beautiful life from the face of the worth?
Who can know when something is getting too much to handle? and then again, how much is too much?

I wonder if Mehr would still pass those angry comments she made about Sunanda in her tweets had she to know that it would have such fatal consequences...I am not being biased. Some might say that what Mehr tweeted was just a counter reaction to Sunanda's accusations. I am not in any position to say that there is any truth to whatever Sunanda Tharoor claimed. But the woman in me refuses to believe that she could have have imagined it all, like Mehr in one of her tweets is trying to make it sound. However, we the aam junta, can never know anything for sure. In someone's personal affairs, however, this 'not wanting to knowing' is mostly a good thing....unless ofcourse, it becomes a social catastrophe that could have been prevented..or perhaps a suicide that could be stopped. That is when, society is handed over the right to intrude and fight for justice on behalf of someone who quit midway for what she/he thought as something that could not be helped.

Everyone and I mean EVERYONE (right from the maid who works at my home to the pesky news reporter who barely allows the interviewee to speak and is most happy answering his own questions) Perhaps Sunanda resorted to this ghastly method as a desperate measure to quit the losing battle of a rocky marriage. Perhaps it was the depression that stemmed from her poor health condition that stepped on a nerve, causing a breakdown. Perhaps it was twitter, the friendly social platform, that was taken way too seriously in this 'internet' world. Or perhaps it was just a case of real bad timing...and (like we all want to believe) she died a peaceful death. So many interpretations, no fixed conclusion yet. The autopsy report promises to exclude a few possibilities.

But what stays in mind is her last tweet, "Who knows when I got to go with joy hastay hue jayenge (will go laughing)," she said.

The mystery around Sunanda Pushkar's death made me review my panoramic outlook on life. It made me ponder on societal definitions sprinkled all over the news reports---'true love', 'happily married', 'social circuit', 'depression', 'PDA', 'insecurities'---the elusiveness of it all. Is there any age to all this? Rather, is there any age at which we move beyond all these expectations (from us...from those we love...from life)? Or is this something we humans are cursed with, until our dying day?

Sunanda Tharoor's friends are now seen speaking of the lady's charm, joie de vivre, warm and friendly disposition and striking personality. She was known for her sense of humour and vibrant attitude. What nobody could spot was probably the chinks in her armour.
What nobody ever spots are the bruises on the soul...

May afterlife grant her the happiness that life did not allow...
Rest In Peace Sunanda Tharoor!

January 06, 2014

Life and its 'Pizza' people---Angry kya?

Last night I ordered pizza for dinner.
Now what is so blog worthy about that, you may ask. Well, you my dear friend, should be by now aware that yours truly is rendered with the most unexpected moments of enlightenment by the most mundane of all experiences.
So there I was, waiting for the pizza boy, driving away absurd thoughts of the guys who work at Nominos deliberately spitting or drooling on my pizza to avenge for my brashness in response to the irate telephonic exchange I had with them (those who order out from Nominos will know how one has to face a flurry of unnecessary rounds of questions that include stupid discount schemes, retarded offers and senseless choices----if I want diet coke with my pizza, I'd have asked for it  You don't really need to keep telling me that I can get it free with another medium sized pizza, you know...because then you would have to tell me how to finish off two medium sized high calorie pizzas without having to scream out loud on judgement day aka the day I step on the scale to weigh myself, every week. So bah!)

Without digressing too much, let me come back to the point of the post. So I was waiting for the pizza delivery boy when this profound thought waltzed through my idle mind. Now as you all know, anything is better than worrying yourself over someone spitting in your food, so I allowed myself to chew on it (the thought not the food or the spit, silly...eww! What-e-ver!) and then eventually I shifted focus to the people in my life. (Yea, I'm sure you guys must be mumbling 'tell us something new' under your breath. Well, creatures of habit, you and me...what to do, we are like that only.)

Somewhere between thoughts of the pizza yet to be delivered, the hunger pangs rising in my stomach, mirthful expectations of a free pizza if the 30 mins time limit is surpassed (out of the thousand odd times Ive ordered a pizza, never has this happened..but hope and greed is what the world functions on), and a hundred different memories created by people who have walked in and out of my life,  my mind drew the following callous association.

People are somewhat like pizza.

Let me make lucid my following analogy.
Pizza comes in a square box.
When you open it, its round. When you start eating it, its in triangular segments. So within the brief span of getting the pizza in hand, and eating it, the harmful looking Italian junk has already changed shape thrice. 

Life and people are also much like pizza...look different...appear different...and behave absolutely different

It is impossible to figure them out completely. Appearances are indeed deceptive. We, in our lives have people changing colors much quicker than pizza changing shape. Or perhaps, maybe just like the pizza, it was always an illusion we fall pray for. Those gooey-chocolate-centred personalities, who are sometimes equally deceptive as a fully loaded high fat, high cholesterol pizza---with extra cheese et all, who you think are so amazing to know that you cannot help but devour them all at once.. You indulge in their awesomeness, relish their exuberance, and cant wait to see them once more. You become addicted.
Just like pizza, you crave for their company. They may be anyone---a friend, a lover, a crush. They become your 'Pizza person'........until one fine day, someone points out, the difference---the difference they see in you. 
Just like the layers of cholesterol that eventually clog your veins, this pizza person slowly but surely gets under your skin. You don't even realise the change, but you are transforming into someone else. That is what too much of indulgence does. You start becoming inactive, bored, lazy, take yourself for granted......until the OMG moment---the moment when the unhappy change starts becoming obvious to the blind bat that you have changed into. This OMG moment can be due to a variety of things. If your pizza person happens to be your best friend, the OMG moment could be his/her attention wavering by the entry of his/her lady love. If your pizza person happens to be a lover, this could be a simple harmless statement like 'umm..you have changed' (which is most likely true but usually adequate to churn a storm of negative emotions through you)..The timing of the fateful 'OMG moment' is subjective to your 'pizza person'. Hitherto, all is bliss. It is only after the OMG revelation, that the panic sets in. Then start the resolutions. Enough of being taken for granted. No more 'Pizza person' you say. You abstain, you exercise, you stay away, you run.
However, you find yourself going back. You start to develop withdrawal symptoms. Your Pizza person is watching you, a bit confused but nevertheless confident that you will return. Return you do, after coming up with a thousand excuses to convince yourself. Your Pizza person made you happy, that's all that matters, you say. So what if we are no longer who we used to be...change is the only constant.
and the game continues.
Now sit back and think...think long and deep.
Cholesterol deposits, weight gains, lethargic feelings....all's well till the pizza person is with you.
But is it really worth it? How long before the pizza person place shuts you down?
What will you do with all that cholesterol overload, that extra carry around weight, that lethargy and........no pizza? No relationship (neither friendship nor love) in life comes with a guarantee, except for the one you have with yourself.
So cherish yourself....
Do not over indulge...
and when realisation dawns or is made to dawn, make sure you hold on to it as tight as you can and  don't keep looking back.

This year, I have decided to avoid all kinds of overwhelming influences in my life. I have decided not to allow others control my feelings and emotions. I have decided to include more of the 'whole grain and brown bread' people. I will learn to enjoy their consistency and share their determination. I will accept them with their balanced personality and remind myself that life is not always a crazy ride but better a steady journey.
Hitherto, life has been pretty insane. But its time I got my act together and my priorities sorted.
Last night, waiting for the Nomino's delivery guy, yours truly unintentionally put a lot of her life in perspective, in her own quirky sort of tangential way, How much of the resolute will transpire in the days to come, that we have to see.
But one thing is for sure...you, my friends, will definitely know all about it! :)

Love deeply, truly and passionately...
But start with yourself.

January 03, 2014

and yum bake!!!

Here's hoping we never have to be completely sure...
Here's wishing us all a super duper spectacularly fabulous and fantastically happy 2014 :)

Love and lots of crazy times together,
yours truly