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February 23, 2017

Back to blogging: 'Breaking the silence'

A couple of days ago, I insisted on calling a friend who I've been guilty of not being in touch with for a while now.
More so because he texted me that he was majorly hung over on a concoction of red bull and fresh pineapple juice, and I was curious to know how that sounded.

Much to my surprise, the said friend (who was once known for his rambunctious attitude) suddenly shied away and started making weird excuses.
"I have a sore throat," he said. "I sound really bad."

In accordance with the theory of the forbidden fruit, I now wanted to hear him even more. And so I adamantly told him I'd deal with it.

Now, all my friends know that there is one thing that invites the wrath of Priyanka Naik like nothing other. And that is if my call is cancelled. This means even if my friends are in some major life threatening situation and cannot answer my call, they let it ring and fade out gradually but in no situation cancel it. It's a quirk of mine that they entertain.

Anyway, so I called and he answered. I said the customary hello, but nobody spoke a word.
After a moments pause, I heard a mousy squeak.

"Hey Pri, I need to call you back. I have a client," he said.
"You sound fine. You really do," I laughed.
He laughed back awkwardly, confirming my suspicions.
"No no. Really, there's a client. Will call you."
I knew that was a lie. But I gave in this time.

"Ok. Say Hi to your imaginary client from my side," I teased.

Seconds later, I received a text from him.
"You sound just like you did five years back. I'm so jealous."

I laughed it off then. But this  incident got me thinking.

How much of our state of mind or maturity do we really let on in our voice? Am I expected to sound different now than I did a decade ago or another decade ahead? Not all of us choose to do a 'Geet' from 'Jab we met' and manifest a major transition in personality post interval, no? Life doesn't always work that way.

Most of the times, personality changes are internal and not that obvious. My voice might stay the same. But I am changing...every single minute. Evolving, growing up, hiding, revealing, trying desperately to preserve whatever is left of who I used to be. And yet, striving to be a better version of who I choose to become.

As this explosion of thoughts wreaked havoc in my mind, I got reminded of these lines from a favourite song.
"Naam gum jayega. Chehra ye badal jayega. Meri awaaz hi pehchaan hai, agar yaad rahein... 


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