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June 12, 2018

#OpenNTalk of handshakes and first impressions


Over the last couple of days, the Twitterverse has been constantly abuzz with comments on the recent handshake exchanged between French president Emmanuel Macron and POTUS.
As a matter of fact, it wasn’t so long ago that our beloved Prime Minister, Shri Narendra Modi, had extended a similar kind of torture on poor Mr Kumarswamy, who appeared so harrowed that it seemed he would never again shake hands with Modi ji. I recall Twitterati having a good laugh at the picture, gloating, this time, not only about his alleged 56 inch chest measurements, but also about the iron grip that could give Sunny Deol’s 'dhai-kilo-ka-haath' a run for his money.

All this hullabaloo about the congenial hand shake got me wondering. Could there be more to this seemingly harmless gesture than what meets the eye?
Personally speaking, this is not the first time I’ve been thinking about handshakes and the intention that lie behind them. Human psychology and its manifestations has always piqued my interest, and it is for this very reason that I often pay extra attention to the body language of those I come in contact with.


It cannot be denied that a handshake can very often make a lasting impression. Within 3-6 seconds, this gesture can send you a vibe, pass on a signal, and tell you a little about the kind of person you’re interacting with.
In my life, I have encountered people I’ve never met a second time just because I wasn’t comfortable with their body language. On the other hand (no pun intended), some of my closest friends had once been strangers who put me totally at ease with a gesture as simple as a genuine handshake the first time I met them.

Accordingly, below is a list I have made of the types of hand shakes we encounter in our daily interactions. So here goes...

1) The three-fingers touchshake - This is the most reluctant type of hand shake. Here the hands don’t touch. Instead, two fingers are extended to meet your hand. Normally extended by women when their creep-sensors are activated or by someone who just doesn’t like you all that much. This particular handshake suggests superiority and ‘stay away from me because I’m just not interested’ signal.

2) The feather-touch handshake - Although this one goes really well with the ladies, especially when you are meeting them for the first time, it can also be misconstrued as being preternaturally unobtrusive and even a tad too indifferent. Sends out a pretty decent vibe when extended between members of the opposite sex, especially for first meetings when you don't want to appear over enthusiastic or pushy in any sort of way.

3) The 'yikes' handshake - As the name suggests, this one grosses me out  the most. With its moist and sweaty touch, this variant of a handshake suggests nervousness or anxiety or something much worse. A cold damp hand always makes me wonder where it’s coming from. Chances are I’ll never shake hands with said person again or resort to the Indian Namaste or the three-fingers touchshake approach instead.

4) The paralyzing death-grip - If the devil were to shake hands with you before dragging you to hell, this would be it. This bone-crushing variety of handshake is the kind that will definitely find its way to your list of regrets by squeezing the life out of you and leaves you feeling pale from the  exsanguination. Works like a charm, especially if you are trying to convey feelings of animosity or vendetta. 

5) The ek-duje-ke-liye handshake - Particularly seen between new lovers or  couples besotted with each other. It’s usually a sign of deep seated attraction where the two people lock hands and refuse to let go, resulting in a prolonged handshake that is less realiszd by them and more by the world around. Can lead to embarrassing consequences in case of unrequited emotions.

6) The disoriented handshake - Ever encountered a handshake you didn’t see coming? You’re having a good conversation when all of a sudden, a flailing hand is thrust in front of you. And just when you extend your hand to meet it, you realize that hand was an awkward movement the person was making to drive home a point in the conversation. Bummer, eh? Exactly!

7) The blanket handshake - This is my favorite kind, but only when extended by my favorite people. It involves the usual handshake with the added support of the left hand covering the person’s right hand as well. I see this as a sign of warmth, security and possessiveness...an all inclusive handshake that coveys positive feelings and makes one feel instantly comfortable and safe. 

8) The patronizing handshake - This is more of a grip and a pat rolled in one. The right hand stays at a higher position with the palm facing downwards to meet yours, while the other hand fixes your palm in a grip from below, giving out a very controlling vibe, and is evident of a dominating personality.

9) The fist bump - A very mature way of greeting...until you turn fifteen!

And last but not the least
10) The perfect handshake - This one follows the ‘equal and opposite’ law, and is reciprocal in intensity and nature. Fingers and web spaces interlocked, and equal palm pressure exerted by both individuals, thus making it a balanced and assertive handshake. Accompanied by a friendly smile and adequate eye contact, this is best initiation to pleasant interaction. 

Of course, this post ought to come with a small disclaimer.
Be it business associate, lover, friend, or boss, an impressive greet-and-meet may be enough to create an impression but is hardly enough to sustain it. So take the above list with a pinch of salt and don’t go about judging (yourself and others) too harshly.


On a somewhat unrelated (err...just kidding, this is way too much fun to digress now) note, have you encountered any other variant of the classic handshake. that I may have forgotten to mention?
Do let me know in your comments.

Cheers!

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This post is published for #OpenNTalk Blogger's League hosted by Dipika Singh of Gleefulblogger
Ruchie Verma - Wigglingpen in association with SummerBarnVedantika HerbalsNyassaExplore Kids World.

#OpenNTalk is a bloggers league wherein forty selected bloggers are divided into eight teams. Each team has five members, who will blog on varied topics during the month of June. Each blogger will post a series of four posts, one post every week. 

My team for the Bloggers League is #CrossBorderSisters, and blogging with me are four other wonderful bloggers. 
1: Aditi:  BlogFacebook Twitter Instagram
2: Manisha: BlogFacebook Twitter Instagram
3. Anagha: BlogFacebook Twitter Instagram
4: Bhawna: BlogFacebook Twitter Instagram



30 comments:

Aditi Kapur said...

Enjoyed reading hilarious account of various handshakes. Can't stop laughing 😂

#OpenNTalk #CrossBorderSisters

Akshata Ram said...

Handshakes and make or mar a meeting. Its funny sometimes how they can totally ruin the reputation #OpenNTalk #BloggerBabes

sudha krishnan said...

I have come across a few of those handshakes listed by you. Some were superb and a few awful. It was an interesting post for sure. #NISSATalks Sudha

Bhawna Shah said...

Seriously I never read about the types of handshakes. Its a part of body language and whenever we met with the people we have to stress on body language to understand the people.
#OpenNTalk #CrossBorderSisters

Silja Nair said...

I have observed few of the handset which u have mentioned. But was not aware about it in such detail. #NISSATalks

Anagha Yatin said...

Hahahaha...what an elaborate affair this handshake thing is, Priyanka! You gave me a lot of tongue in cheek moments. Best read of the day for me.
#OpenNTalk #CrossBorderSisters

Anami said...

That's really something interesting and a fun read. Knew about few of them. Thanks for sharing :)

– Anami from #InvincibleGang for #OpenNTalk #Week2

Shipra Trivedi said...

Ha ha, enjoyed the post. Never thought can handshakes could be of these many types. #BlogAMile #OpenNTalk

Pri said...

@ Aditi
I’m glad it made you laugh! 😁

Pri said...

@ Akshata
Yeah. Some would say the traditional ‘Namaskaram’ or the Japanese ‘bow and greet’ is a lot less judged 😉

Pri said...

@ Sudha
Thanks dear. I’m glad you found it interesting! 😊

Pri said...

@ Bhawna
Yes dear. Our body language constitutes an integral part of our interaction. It happens naturally, and hence important to observe. If interpreted rightly, it can reveal a lot about people. 😊

Pri said...

@ Silja
I am sure there are more. Next time someone shakes hands with you, remember to notice! 😁

Pri said...

@ Anagha
Thanks Anagha. 😁 I’m glad you saw the humour in it! ❤️

Pri said...

@ Anami
Thanks Anami. I am sure we all have encountered these in our lives. And more! 😁

Pri said...

@ Shipra
Thanks dear. I’m glad the post could spread some smiles! ❤️

Surbhi Mahobia said...

I totally despise the handshakes that are not firm. It just spoils the first impression for me. This is a good one. #roarwillrock

Deepa said...

I never knew so much about handshakes. Very interesting post and topic.
#OpenNtalk #BloggingDivas

Arvind Passey said...

Well, body language is an art that I learned in my twenties and it isn't just about types of handshakes. Hope you will write on the entire lot of things that matter in body language some day.

Arvind Passey
www.passey.info

#NISSATalks #OpenNTalk

Pri said...

@ Surbhi
I agree. A firm handshake indicates confidence. But it should be just the right amount of firm and not come across as over-enthusiasm or over-confidence at any cost.
Thanks for dropping by! 😊

Pri said...

@ Deepa
Thanks Deepa. I’m glad you enjoyed reading it. 😊

Pri said...

@ Arvind Passey
Of course effective body language isn’t just about handshakes. But it’d take an entire book to encapsulate everything 😁. However, your suggestion is duly noted and will be considered. Thank you! 😊

Sayeri said...

OMG! I didn't even know that there are so much variations in a single handshake!! you are just amazing. #OpeNTalk #BloggerBabes

Mayura Amarkant said...

A handshake says a lot about a person and his character. Really informative post. Keep writing! #RoarWillRock

jigna gautam shah said...

The post nice but funny. A lesson also as my the handshake a person's personality reflects. #OpenNTalk #jamss2018

Nehal said...

Enjoyed reading it. I have read somewhere about handshaking but not so much deep. Your post makes me aware of new things.
Thanks for sharing such a wonderful one.

Pri said...

@ Sayeri
Haha. Thank you dear. I’m sure there are more. These are based on years of careful observation and experience ;)

Pri said...

@ Mayura
Indeed! A lot can be said from the body language of a person. But of course that’s shouldn’t be the only way of assessment. :)
Thanks for dropping by.

Pri said...

@ Jigna
True! Certain characteristic handshakes do give a sneak-peek into the person’s personality. But of course, it isn’t the ultimate test :)

Pri said...

@ Nehal
Thanks Nehal. I’m glad you enjoyed my observations 😘